There was a time in my Christian experience where I felt I needed to work hard for God, to really “pay a price” if He was ever going to use me. I would try to fast almost every single day. Most days I would end up getting and eating a whole box of Cap’n Crunch cereal instead. Then I would feel so condemned, like I just did not meet the requirements to be a great in God’s army. At that time I sought out lots of preaching that said this very same thing. I thought that if I could hear hard enough preaching long enough, it would finally motivate me to live the disciplined Christian life that I knew I should.

All of us need comfort

A BIG misunderstanding I had about the Christian life was that it was about me growing in my ability to be disciplined. I would be able withstand any temptation if I could just mature enough in my faith. I would have discipline in my prayer life, diet, exercise and finances. I did not understand that God’s grace to stand comes to the humble, who know how to live in dependence, with no walls around their hearts. 1 Peter 5:5

What I have discovered is that we all need a SLAP, Security, Love, Affirmation and Purpose. I need to know I am cared for, safe and secure from being rejected and that I am unconditionally loved. I need to feel accepted and comforted in love. I need to feel affirmed and valued, that what I do counts and finally I need a sense of purpose and destiny for my life. These are God given needs. I can find these needs met in the loving arms of my heavenly Father and in my immediate and church families. This requires interdependence and humility. If I do not find these needs met legitimately my flesh will scream to get them met in illegitimate ways. This brings a whole new understanding to the verses below.

Eph 2:2, 3 In which at one time you walked [habitually]. You were following the course and fashion of this world [were under the sway of the tendency of this present age], following the prince of the power of the air. [You were obedient to and under the control of] the [demon] spirit that still constantly works in the sons of disobedience [the careless, the rebellious, and the unbelieving, who go against the purposes of God]. Among these we as well as you once lived and conducted ourselves in the passions of our flesh [our behavior governed by our corrupt and sensual nature], obeying the impulses of the flesh and the thoughts of the mind [our cravings dictated by our senses and our dark imaginings]. We were then by nature children of [God’s] wrath and heirs of [His] indignation, like the rest of mankind. (Amplified Version)

There certainly are demonic influences that are in everyone’s life. (I do not believe influence is the same as possession). There is carnality. What is behind the carnally and demonically influenced behavior, however, is a God created need. These needs should draw us to God and family to live in community. If we are stubborn in our independence we will continually struggle. Many have preached a certain legalism that states God is angry at us for not straightening this stuff out. This adds to our feelings of insecurity, that we are only loved, accepted and valued if we meet certain conditions.

These messages basically say, “suck it up”, almost like a sports coach with his team. They put pressure on us to perform and they add condemnation and guilt when we fail to meet the standard. This is not an environment where we can feel secure and valued unconditionally and therefore we are not free to let down our walls of independence and trust that through God and family our needs will be met.

I believe God is restoring a foundation of love to His church in this hour. This base of love will restore fathers to children and children to fathers, Malachi 4:6. Fathers and mothers in Christ are arising that know how to show real and freeing love to the children God brings. This move will change God’s reputation on the earth. His body will no longer be viewed as a self-righteous group who point out others faults and who communicate a message of judgment to people like the backslidden or the homosexuals. God’s body will be a safe place, where pre-Christians; the hurting, the bound and hurt person can go and find a love so powerful and freeing that it casts out all their fears (1 John 4:18) and sets them free to trust and walk in humility and interdependence!