Sweating for the Lord

August 14, 2010 By cyndi 2 Comments

By Cyndi

As I was running in the 90-something degree F heat the other day (32 C), sweat was pouring off of me. Here in Florida, the summertime heat plus the humidity can be well into the 100s (37 C), but health experts say sweating is supposed to be good for you, cleaning out your pores and all. That’s why saunas and steam rooms are said to be conducive to well-being and are usually in spas and gyms–they cleanse the junk out of your body.

While thinking this heat I’m running in is actually helping to purify my body, immediately the Lord took this natural condition into the spiritual context. I started pondering about how I find myself in “heated” circumstances–where “heat” is put on me from my job, my family, my bills, or even just life itself. I can see these situations are meant to purify me, to cleanse the junk out of my spiritual system. Father God’s not putting things on me because He’s mad at me. No. He’s just using the normal consequences of life to help purify me.

How many times have I sung the words Brian Doerksen penned many years ago:  “Purify my heart, let me be as gold, and precious silver…?” Was I thinking that I could be purified without a little “fire”?

Malachi 3 speaks of this refining fire. It’s the Lord’s desire that we become pure and holy–sanctified for the Master’s use. When precious metals are refined, they are heated up to the melting point which causes the impurities to come to the surface. These impurities are scooped off the top and then the heat is turned up hotter, causing even more impurities to rise and be removed. It is through this refining process the metal is made purer.

Hence my title, Sweating for the Lord. I want all the impurities to come out of my life. I want to walk by the Spirit and not by my fleshly desires. I truly desire for my life to be pure and holy, ready to do His will. So just as I sweat in my physical body, Lord, help me to “sweat” on the inside, that my heart and motives may be cleansed. May I accept heated situations and circumstances as divine provisions and opportunities from You to purify me.

Filed Under: Christianity, Encouragement, Holiness, destiny Tagged With: Christianity, holiness, running

Self Awareness

July 9, 2010 By cyndi 6 Comments

By Robert & Cyndi

“All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone”–Blaise Pascal

Most of us are not in touch with our feelings. Think about it. When traffic is horrendous, the line at the bank is slow and long, or our kids forget to do their chores, do we ever stop to think about how we are feeling right then and why? Sometimes we are quick to blame things on the devil or engage in spiritual warfare, grabbing for our swords to fight rather than sitting in a chair to contemplate.

Richard Foster, in The Celebration of Discipline says, “The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.” Jesus felt very deeply about things, as did King David, who so well expressed this in his psalms. If we are to be emotionally healthy disciples, expressed images of the living God, then we need to learn to be reflective, looking deep into our hearts and souls.

In The Emotionally Healthy Church, Peter Scazzero states this well:
“It takes courage to ask myself what I am really feeling in a situation. Especially when it is what we usually label a negative emotion such as anger, shame, bitterness, hate, grief, jealousy, fear, or depression. Many would try to deny these rather than listen to their God-given emotions. This involves taking my feelings and thoughts about why I am feeling this way and bringing them honestly to God.”

Honesty before God requires a vulnerability that many of us are not willing to experience–it is much easier to live in surfacy religious jargon. When Ps.46:10 tells us to “be still and know” that He is God, this is a withdrawing, a sinking down, a quieting of ourselves to listen and firmly feel what is going on. It is a position of intimacy. It is a place where deep can call to deep, but it is a choice. Are we willing to open up, be honest with ourselves, and choose it?

Filed Under: Christianity, Emotions, Shame, emotional responsibility, happiness, responsibility, self awareness Tagged With: anger, awareness, contemplation, emotional health, emotions, Personhood

Synthesis for Assimilation

July 3, 2010 By robert 2 Comments

By Robert

What does it mean to really learn something to the point of being able to apply the new skill? When I learned Spanish,there were more steps than I imagined. I thought learning the corresponding Spanish word would be enough. Then I realized that learning to use it in everyday conversation was a whole other step. And even after that, I also had to learn to hear it used in the context of conversation.

Likewise, my son will learn new ways of maneuvering a soccer ball that can knock an opponent off balance. He will practice it over and over until it becomes second nature. Only then can he use this new skill under the pressure of a game situation.

In the Christian life there are many skills we can acquire as we mature:

  • Learning responsibility with emotions–learning to recognize them in ourselves and others, and to more effectively handle them.
  • Learning to partner with God to problem solve. Breaking things down into their parts, brainstorming, defining variables verses non-variables.
  • Finding resources for what we need in spiritual and career growth rather than living a welfare Christianity like the children of Israel in the wilderness did.
  • Learning spiritual hygiene to stay clean of negative emotions and live in daily hope.
  • Learning skills of intimacy with God and man–living in vulnerability, transparency, and expressing emotion.
  • Learning to do research and find the knowledge we need to accomplish a task.

What does it mean to let our lights shine so that pre-Christians will be drawn to us? Maybe the skills are a little more defined than we have considered. We have to go way beyond generally knowing about something, synthesizing it down to intimate knowledge until it is a part of us.

Synthesis – Reasoning from the general to the particular; logical deduction.
Assimilate – 1) To take in and utilize as nourishment : absorb into the system 2) to take into the mind and thoroughly comprehend

Filed Under: Christianity, Emotions, emotional responsibility, life skills, responsibility Tagged With: Christian Counseling, Emotional responsibility, Life skills, responsibility

No Points For Trying

June 5, 2010 By cyndi 6 Comments

By Cyndi

Do you ever feel like you have to live up to expectations that seem higher than you can fulfill? Do you live with pressure from others to perform to perfection, and if you don’t, you’re not accepted? Many of us live in daily stress, hoping to gain acceptance from what we do or don’t do.

Acceptance can come in many forms. It can be a promotion or an increase in pay at our job, a pat on the back from our coach, the words “Nice work!” written on the top of a page from a teacher, or a loving glance from our spouse.Whatever it might be, and from whomever it may come, each of us have a God-given need for acceptance. Unfortunately, the world teaches us we have to do something to get it. And not just do something, but do it right. That’s it—it’s either black or white, right or wrong—no points for trying.

My father used to have a saying: “Don’t tell me you can’t, tell me you’ll try.” I think he realized there were many things in life that seem like insurmountable obstacles, and just because you can’t get it right the first time, doesn’t mean you don’t get points for trying. History records multiple accounts of those who didn’t succeed the first time—Abraham Lincoln, Babe Ruth, Thomas Edison. Sometimes we will strike out many times before we will set any world records, but that doesn’t mean we should give up. We can learn from our failed attempts.

God accepts us whether we get things right or not. Oh, I believe He wants us to try—-(see James 1:3 & 1 Peter 1:7) -–and the “points” we get for trying are scored by our growth and maturity in the Lord. We have some high standards put before us, like the Ten Commandments, that seem higher than we can fulfill, but these have nothing to do with how much Father God loves and accepts us.

Our acceptance is not based on our performance, but on His love. 1 John 4:19 says, “He first loved us.” We are His children and He loves us simply because of who we are, not for what we do. But this doesn’t mean we should stop trying, but only try from the safety of knowing you are already loved and accepted just the way you are.

Filed Under: Christianity, destiny Tagged With: acceptance, Christianity

How to Fulfill Your Calling

May 28, 2010 By robert 3 Comments

By Robert

Know your design

It takes time and effort to know ourselves, to discover what makes us tick. You could start by asking yourself, “What comes natural to me?” I know a lady who found it came easy to study and that others naturally felt safe around her. She dove in and researched every conceivable aspect of Prayer Ministry. People started coming and receiving help. She saw people with very deep trauma healed time after time, and she quickly became a leader in the field. The redemptive gifts are the best tool I know of to help discover your design. Is it natural for you to make friends and influence people? Is it more natural to lead people and organize things to reach a goal? Do you get fulfillment working behind the scenes to make things happen?

Gain a skill set

Knowing our design helps us zero in on developing a skill set. In the example above, the lady focused on studying Prayer Ministry. I know of another lady that focused on mobilizing seniors to be a support to ministries around the city. Maybe your focus might be relational evangelism and you could become excellent at it and can effectively impart it to others. Maybe your area is finances and you could offer your services to small business owners and non-profit leaders in the Body of Christ. An accountant or doctor might realize they are particularly good at something, and could work hard to develop that niche.

Serving well brings Favor and Support

Once we have a skill set, we can become life-giving with it by serving others. As we serve well, people will begin talking about it. We will get word-of-mouth, free advertising! As that grows, others will come along and get under us and support our efforts because they see it really helps people.

Get Started!

It is often a mystery to people as to how they can fulfill the unique thing God has called them to do. In reality, there are practical steps. God wants us all to walk in what He has designed us all to be. Nothing is more fulfilling than walking in what you were made to do.

We offer coaching to help in this area. If you would like more information, please contact us.

Filed Under: Christianity, Counseling, calling, purpose Tagged With: calling, Christianity, design, designed, destiny

Marry Me or Go to Hell

May 16, 2010 By cyndi 6 Comments

What a statement! Could you imagine this as a marriage proposal? Picture a beautiful candlelight dinner on a balcony, the woman’s face silhouetted by the setting sun on the horizon, her long hair flowing in the gentle breeze. The man fidgets in his pocket and brings forth a small black velvet box, opens it up to reveal an elegant diamond ring, then looks into the soft eyes of his beloved and says, “Marry me, or go to hell.”

How about this scenario: You and a friend are meeting for lunch. You’ve been thinking about sharing the gospel with him for quite some time. The two of you are sitting at the local sub shop, patrons are noisily chatting at nearby tables, and the smell of deli meats and cheeses permeate the air.  You fidget with the words in your mind, nervously take a tract out of your pocket, place it on the table next to the half-eaten pickle on his plate and say, “Accept Jesus, or you will go to hell.”

No one has ever threatened me to do something wonderful. If we were going to Disney World, my parents didn’t have to force me to get into the car. Usually the threat of punishment was used to manipulate me to endure an unpleasant experience, not a good one. So why should we threaten people with hell if what we’re offering them is so great?

What if the gospel was presented more as a surrender to love, rather than a fear of hell? How can we ever grow in intimacy—between us and the Lord, or any other person—if the beginning of our relationship is based in fear?

Filed Under: Christianity, Father's Love Tagged With: Christianity, evangelism, fear

If You’re Happy and You Know It

May 9, 2010 By cyndi 3 Comments

By Cyndi

Are you happy? If so, are you showing it? What is happiness based on anyway? It could be wealth, health, family, or a job—to name a few things. Happiness can be determined by how nice a vacation you had, or what size house you have. Maybe your son or daughter getting accepted in a specific college would make you happy. Maybe driving a nicer car or having a brand new flat-screen TV would boost your happiness level up a notch. But does your happiness have to depend on external things?

I remember one day, several years ago, when we were living in the Dominican Republic. I was at the kitchen sink bleaching out fresh lettuce, rinsing it for the third time, looking around at my unfinished cabinets with no doors, through the iron bars in the windows at the clothes hanging on the line outside. Day-to-day life took a lot more work down here, I’d thought. Dust constantly blew in through the open windows of the house, the electricity would randomly go off—we never knew when or for how long. Our groceries had to be bought at the market in town, where you would weave in and out of about four city-blocks worth of little stalls, and I was homeschooling my son. Oh, and there was all the ministry things to do too. But that day, standing in my bleach-stained T-shirt and incomplete kitchen, an overwhelming sense of happiness came over me. I was living with less “things,” making less money, but truly satisfied with my life.

Now, we live back in the states and I try to remind myself of that particular day, especially when I start feeling unhappy and dissatisfied. I remind myself that happiness can come from very simple things. It can come from reading a book, listening to rain, or taking a walk. It can come from watching my son play soccer, fluffing up my cat, or singing songs at church. Laughter, gratitude, friends, family—all these things make me happy.

So what makes you happy? I mean, really happy. That deep down in your core happy. I encourage you to find out. It may be something simple like enjoying time with your family, lying under the stars at night, watching a sunset with your spouse, or having lunch with an old friend. We can choose to be grateful for the things we do have, and not focus on what we don’t.

God has given us a free will to choose and make decisions for ourselves. We can make a choice to be happy and grateful, even when the entire world around us is down and depressed. Being thankful is a choice. If you’re happy and you know it, show it. Happiness can be contagious—catch it and spread it around.

Filed Under: Christianity, families, happiness Tagged With: Chrisitianity, Family, happiness, love

Connection, Identity, and Support

May 1, 2010 By robert 1 Comment

By Robert

Joe felt so disconnected, always on the outside, at work and school and church. As he was growing up his dad had never been around. There had never really been a man in his life to call forth his identity. Julie felt an almost continual low-level anxiety—constantly afraid things might fall apart. She had a sense of impending doom, a fear of financial disaster, or some grave illness or family crisis. It was so hard to believe God would be available to her.

Eph 3:14-15 (AMP) For this reason I bow my knees before the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, For Whom every family in heaven and on earth is named [that Father from Whom all fatherhood takes its title and derives its name].

Fathering, mothering, and family are all God’s idea and God’s design. Every little boy and little girl needs to know dad and mom love them, and be secure in that love. Children need a sense of connection and identity. They need to know they are supported in all the life skills they must acquire to grow up.

When these foundational elements are missing (connection, identity, and support), wounding often takes place. God’s plan is for a divine exchange to happen, where Christians shift from the family model their parents gave them, to connecting directly with God’s love. We should feel like sons in His family rather than orphans. Most all wounding is based right here in these three elements. Think about it. Any fears I have—anxieties over finances, health, family, destiny—are all rooted in a difficulty believing God will be there for me. It is orphan living.

All healing needs to be based in these three things as well. Finding a connection to God’s love, and having our identity in that rather than performance or independence, is what brings about healing. There is a safe place in His love for both emotional and physical needs.  Just forgiving those who hurt us or trying to get rid of pain should not be the goal. Having intimacy with God, learning to live a connected, Fathered life, daily walking in His love and in sonship, is what He wants for all of us.

Filed Under: Boundaries, Christianity, Counseling, Father's Love, sonship Tagged With: acceptance, Chrisitianity, connection, Father's Love, identity, sonship, support

Follow Me

April 24, 2010 By cyndi 1 Comment

By Cyndi

Is anyone following you? No, I’m not referring to Twitter, I’m referring to the way you live and conduct your affairs. Are there people that look to you as an example of what a Christian should be?

The other day I read the verse 1 Corinthians 11:1-”Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” As I thought about these words of the apostle Paul, the weightiness of what he said deeply convicted me. Could I say this to others? Do I feel like my life is in the spiritual position it should be, to tell others that they ought to copy me in all that I do and say? Am I honestly trying to live as an imitator of Christ-being a life-giving source flowing with purity and holiness-daily? This was a sobering thought.

I know Paul was not a perfect man, only Jesus was, but he obviously felt clear enough in his conscience that his lifestyle was exemplary. Those of us who are parents have some idea of what it’s like to see your son or daughter mimic your words or actions. This can be very rewarding or very humbling, depending on the incident-especially if done or said in public. We were their examples and they followed us.

So does this verse imply that we must be outwardly constrained at all times, religiously following what we’ve been told is righteous if we are to represent Christ? I don’t believe so. But I do believe it means we are to live with inward constraint and personal responsibility to the truths we know. Jesus told us that we are to live in this world, but not be of it.  Is there anything separating me, as a Christian, apart from the non-Christians around me, or do I appear just like them? Are my inward beliefs affecting my outward life? Why would anyone want to follow me anyway; what do I have that they would want?

Well, I’m going to conclude this article now, since the Lord has pinpointed enough work that needs to be done in me before I can say much more. Someday I hope to be as confident as Paul was, to tell others to imitate me as I follow the Lord. If only it were as simple as clicking a tab on Twitter-like social networking without all the personal responsibility and commitment. Hmm…I bet Paul would have had some interesting words to tweet about that.

Filed Under: Christianity, responsibility Tagged With: authority, Chrisitianity, responsibility

Coloring Outside the Lines

April 18, 2010 By cyndi 1 Comment

By Cyndi

Crossing boundaries is like coloring outside the lines in a coloring book. The lines are what make the picture—they define it, express it, they reveal what it is supposed to look like. They help us learn to improve our coloring skills by giving us a framework to function within. Children scribble-scrabble with their crayons. Coloring books help them learn small motor skills, to control hand movements and train them to do what they desire. As youngsters mature, instead of haphazard strokes on a page, mindful and purposeful marks and colors are chosen to create a picture in the way they wish to express it.

Boundaries have a purpose in our lives; they define our picture, who we are. My boundaries, like the coloring book page, are a picture of what I will or will not do.  When someone tries to get me to do something I don’t want to, and they begin to push me, they have crossed my boundary. As I see it, they colored outside the line—my line. This might take the form of a spouse using the silent treatment, or someone using anger to manipulate or control me into doing something I have already said no to. If I am talking with someone and indicate I need to go, and they continue to draw me into conversation, they are coloring across my line.

Many times those who do not respect boundaries and scribble-scrabble over others are struggling with insecurity and fears of being rejected. They are still learning the “small motor skills” of self-control. Part of growing in our spiritual walk is understanding how to honor one another’s rights, choices, and feelings rather than randomly coloring all over the page. We also need the maturity to set loving boundaries with others in a way that still values them. By doing this, it helps us all mature and learn to color within the lines, freely expressing ourselves, yet respecting everyone else’s picture.

Filed Under: Boundaries, Christianity, Counseling Tagged With: Boundaries, Chrisitianity, Christian Counseling, love
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