We live in a world that values strength and belittles weakness. We idolize characters such as Rambo, John Wayne, and Jason Bourne. It is so easy to feel that there is no way to advance in life if people see our weaknesses, our personal struggles. So we tend to be drawn toward hiding these things about ourselves. We want to put them in the dark where no one can see them. Yet, if we can’t even acknowledge we have struggles, how can we ever hope to overcome them? Understanding what is darkness and what is light puts a huge tool in our hands for growth.

Blatant sin, of course, is darkness; however, there can be smaller, less noticeable ways where we might be living in the dark. 1 John 1:6 says,”… if we say we have fellowship with God, but we continue living in darkness, we lie and do not follow the truth.” So what exactly does this “living in darkness” mean? Simply put, anything that is hidden and not exposed. To paraphrase Andrew Murray’s definition of humility, darkness is not being willing to be known for who we really are.

If we are humble – being known for who we really are – then we find no reason to hide our past, our present struggles, or our future dreams. But being open and transparent like this involves risk. If we were to divulge certain things about ourselves, people may reject us or make fun of us, or even worse, they may not love and accept us. And it’s possible they may abandon us.

It’s much easier to stay in the dark than to take the chance of living in openness and transparency, but unfortunately, there are “friends” that tend to hang around us there. Fear, worry, anxiety, shame, guilt – all of these can be our ‘best friends’ when we’re in darkness. And there’s no peace or rest there. Only by embracing light do we position ourselves to experience growth.

We can be free from our past and live emotionally present in all our relationships today! By facing the hidden darkness in our lives, we can find freedom to be who we really are, unashamedly. Light is the place where we have the actual experience of feeling secure in our Father’s arms and live open-hearted to the world.

While running the other morning I was acutely aware that my form was falling apart. That form where I have my shoulders back, my pelvis straight, my eyes looking ahead and my body in fluid motion just wasn’t happening–and I suffered because of it. The run was hard, my body was hurting, and my mind was completely distracted in twenty different directions.

This reminded me of times when my Christian form falls apart. I get busy, my devotions stop, my praying stops, my mind dwells on all the negatives around me…I stop doing what I know I should do. Peter, as an apostolic “coach,” says he doesn’t have a problem reminding us we need to review the fundamentals we were originally taught (2 Pet.1:12).

Most athletes know that errors or injuries occur when they depart from the fundamentals. They know the extreme necessity for keeping your form correct. Whether it is your backhand swing, your batting stance, or your foot positions in ballet, all of these details have a tremendous amount of influence on the outcome.

And what about those basic basic Christian fundamentals—like loving God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind (Luke 10:27)?  Or Micah 6:8, “to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God”?  Before even getting to the primary disciplines of Christianity, we must first receive His love and acceptance, and build on that. We love Him because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

All I know is that when I’m running and my form is falling apart, I need to focus back on my breathing, my posture, where my eyes are focused—the fundamentals. It’s back to basics.

Kinesthetic Awareness for Emotional Intelligence (EQ) by Christian Coaching
Do you know where your rhomboids are? Can you flex your rhomboids as distinct from your lats? Can you flex your glutes? How about just your right one? Give it a try. There are gymnasts that have unbelievable body control: they can even balance their whole body on one arm. They have developed their muscles in a very fined-tuned way so that they have incredible kinesthetic awareness. They are aware of their muscles to the point of being able to feel them individually, control them in highly coordinated ways,  and feel when something is slightly off or slightly sore. We can have emotional intelligence at this level.

The Apprentice and lack of EQ and Skill Sets
I recently watched the season opener of The Apprentice. The concept this season is interesting: a group of business professionals, who have been laid off in the recession, compete in leadership skill exercises to perform business tasks for Donald Trump. Frankly, I was shocked at the lack of skill sets they displayed. The two competing team leaders did not first of all sit down and take stock of who had what skills to contribute to their teams. They didn’t lay out a plan and clearly delegate using accountability and trust. It was clear they really didn’t know themselves all that well and therefore struggled leading others.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
EQ is a phenomenal concept. This is a measurement of how well a person knows who they are, what they feel, and how to take appropriate responsibility for their feelings. By knowing this about themselves, a leader then is able to recognize how others are feeling and can lead them more effectively.

How do you get there?
You develop this skill set the same way you develop any other. You do some research and you learn the basics. Then, you assess where you are at. What past emotional patterns of interaction were shame-based verses those which were respect-based? How have I carried this into my adult interactions? A larger EQ is developed when you apply yourself to learn new skills and go through the learning process, by getting some help from others and not tackling things in independence. Christian Coaching can really help you get the ball rolling her.

The Benefits
Becoming emotionally aware, learning who I am, knowing how to be responsible with my emotions and those of others, are huge skills. These are some of the principles of intimacy. They apply with my relationships with people equally as with my relationship with God. Not only do I find greater intimacy with God by understanding the principles of intimacy, but I also shine my light brighter in my areas of influence that help draw men unto God.

Romans 12:6 says we have different gifts according to the grace that is given to us. We are made differently from one another. One person is a prophet gift, another is servant and those two are very different motivational drives. Prophets see black and white; they understand justice issues and why they are important. Servants desire to empower others. They have a selfless drive to help others become all they can be. Genesis 1:26 says that we are made in God’s image. It would therefore, stand to reason that in God’s nature there is a reflection of these seven motivation drives. In this light, it is very interesting to look at the Old Testament names of Jehovah.

The first name of Jehovah in Scripture is Jehovah Jireh. This corresponds with the first redemptive gift of prophet. “Jehovah sees” would be a literal translation. Jireh in Strong’s Concordance is Ra’ah 7200: to see, observe, perceive, examine. The noun form of (Jireh) Ra’ah is translated “prophet” in 1 Sam 9:9.

How does God reflect His prophet nature through this name?
In Genesis 22:1-14 God tested Abraham. Vs.12: (to Abraham) “Now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.” 14 “And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovah Jireh: as it is said to this day, In the mount of the LORD it shall be seen.” God saw into Abraham’s heart and tested his motives.

God also saw in this same manner in Isaiah 58. The people were fasting and seeking God, it says in verse 2. Then God calls them out and tells them a true fast is done from true motives, a day to humble yourself, not a day to get God to do things for you through your sacrifices.

It is enlightening to look at the gifts as God reveals them through His Names. God sees motives. He is Jehovah Jireh. There is safety here, security.

Well, it’s training time again. Yes, for all you runners out there, I’ve begun training for my second marathon, which will be in February. I had such a thrill doing it last time, I’m going to go for it again. (It’s the National Marathon to Finish Breast Cancer, so it’s a good cause.) I still consider myself a novice at this, so it takes many weeks for me to prepare my body for running 26.2 miles. And not just physically, but mentally also. There’s so many things to overcome in training—right now, the heat and humidity of Florida is a major one, but stretching, cross-training, nutrition, hydration–all these things are a part of preparing to run a marathon.

If you think of the Christian walk as being like a marathon, there is strength-training involved in that too. Oh, we had our conversion and have begun our conditioning, but there are times when it gets a little hard and fatigue starts setting in. Just as in the natural realm we have to train our physical body to run for miles, I believe in the spiritual realm we have to strengthen our spirits also to endure the “miles” we will cover in our lifetime. We need spiritual cross-training, we need “good food” to feed our spirit with, Living Water to drink from, and “hills” to challenge us and make us stronger.

Our spirits need building up. In Eph. 3:16, Paul prays that we would be “strengthened with might by His Spirit in our inner man,” our spirit. Vs.17— that we would be “rooted and grounded in love,” able to fulfill our destinies and walk out our Christian walk successfully, receiving love and giving it away to everyone around us. Our spirits are in training. And just like training for a marathon, this is a process, it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and effort–a willingness to suffer the heat, the exhaustion, the work required; but when you do run the race, there is such joy and excitement and confidence that you are ready and prepared.

I ran across this quote, (no pun intended), from an unknown author in Runner’s World:
Spirit has fifty times the strength and staying power of brawn and muscle.

This is in reference to the natural realm—now think of this in the spiritual realm.

Let’s run!

As I was running in the 90-something degree F heat the other day (32 C), sweat was pouring off of me. Here in Florida, the summertime heat plus the humidity can be well into the 100s (37 C), but health experts say sweating is supposed to be good for you, cleaning out your pores and all. That’s why saunas and steam rooms are said to be conducive to well-being and are usually in spas and gyms–they cleanse the junk out of your body.

While thinking this heat I’m running in is actually helping to purify my body, immediately the Lord took this natural condition into the spiritual context. I started pondering about how I find myself in “heated” circumstances–where “heat” is put on me from my job, my family, my bills, or even just life itself. I can see these situations are meant to purify me, to cleanse the junk out of my spiritual system. Father God’s not putting things on me because He’s mad at me. No. He’s just using the normal consequences of life to help purify me.

How many times have I sung the words Brian Doerksen penned many years ago:  “Purify my heart, let me be as gold, and precious silver…?” Was I thinking that I could be purified without a little “fire”?

Malachi 3 speaks of this refining fire. It’s the Lord’s desire that we become pure and holy–sanctified for the Master’s use. When precious metals are refined, they are heated up to the melting point which causes the impurities to come to the surface. These impurities are scooped off the top and then the heat is turned up hotter, causing even more impurities to rise and be removed. It is through this refining process the metal is made purer.

Hence my title, Sweating for the Lord. I want all the impurities to come out of my life. I want to walk by the Spirit and not by my fleshly desires. I truly desire for my life to be pure and holy, ready to do His will. So just as I sweat in my physical body, Lord, help me to “sweat” on the inside, that my heart and motives may be cleansed. May I accept heated situations and circumstances as divine provisions and opportunities from You to purify me.

“All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone”–Blaise Pascal

Most of us are not in touch with our feelings. Think about it. When traffic is horrendous, the line at the bank is slow and long, or our kids forget to do their chores, do we ever stop to think about how we are feeling right then and why? Sometimes we are quick to blame things on the devil or engage in spiritual warfare, grabbing for our swords to fight rather than sitting in a chair to contemplate.

Richard Foster, in The Celebration of Discipline says, “The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.” Jesus felt very deeply about things, as did King David, who so well expressed this in his psalms. If we are to be emotionally healthy disciples, expressed images of the living God, then we need to learn to be reflective, looking deep into our hearts and souls.

In The Emotionally Healthy Church, Peter Scazzero states this well:
“It takes courage to ask myself what I am really feeling in a situation. Especially when it is what we usually label a negative emotion such as anger, shame, bitterness, hate, grief, jealousy, fear, or depression. Many would try to deny these rather than listen to their God-given emotions. This involves taking my feelings and thoughts about why I am feeling this way and bringing them honestly to God.”

Honesty before God requires a vulnerability that many of us are not willing to experience–it is much easier to live in surfacy religious jargon. When Ps.46:10 tells us to “be still and know” that He is God, this is a withdrawing, a sinking down, a quieting of ourselves to listen and firmly feel what is going on. It is a position of intimacy. It is a place where deep can call to deep, but it is a choice. Are we willing to open up, be honest with ourselves, and choose it?

What does it mean to really learn something to the point of being able to apply the new skill? When I learned Spanish,there were more steps than I imagined. I thought learning the corresponding Spanish word would be enough. Then I realized that learning to use it in everyday conversation was a whole other step. And even after that, I also had to learn to hear it used in the context of conversation.

Likewise, my son will learn new ways of maneuvering a soccer ball that can knock an opponent off balance. He will practice it over and over until it becomes second nature. Only then can he use this new skill under the pressure of a game situation.

In the Christian life there are many skills we can acquire as we mature:

• Learning responsibility with emotions–learning to recognize them in ourselves and others, and to more effectively handle them.

• Learning to partner with God to problem solve. Breaking things down into their parts, brainstorming, defining variables verses non-variables.

• Finding resources for what we need in spiritual and career growth rather than living a welfare Christianity like the children of Israel in the wilderness did.

• Learning spiritual hygiene to stay clean of negative emotions and live in daily hope.

• Learning skills of intimacy with God and man–living in vulnerability, transparency, and expressing emotion.

• Learning to do research and find the knowledge we need to accomplish a task.

What does it mean to let our lights shine so that pre-Christians will be drawn to us? Maybe the skills are a little more defined than we have considered. We have to go way beyond generally knowing about something, synthesizing it down to intimate knowledge until it is a part of us.

Synthesis – Reasoning from the general to the particular; logical deduction.
Assimilate – 1) To take in and utilize as nourishment : absorb into the system 2) to take into the mind and thoroughly comprehend

Do you ever feel like you have to live up to expectations that seem higher than you can fulfill? Do you live with pressure from others to perform to perfection, and if you don’t, you’re not accepted? Many of us live in daily stress, hoping to gain acceptance from what we do or don’t do.

Acceptance can come in many forms. It can be a promotion or an increase in pay at our job, a pat on the back from our coach, the words “Nice work!” written on the top of a page from a teacher, or a loving glance from our spouse.Whatever it might be, and from whomever it may come, each of us have a God-given need for acceptance. Unfortunately, the world teaches us we have to do something to get it. And not just do something, but do it right. That’s it—it’s either black or white, right or wrong—no points for trying.

My father used to have a saying: “Don’t tell me you can’t, tell me you’ll try.” I think he realized there were many things in life that seem like insurmountable obstacles, and just because you can’t get it right the first time, doesn’t mean you don’t get points for trying. History records multiple accounts of those who didn’t succeed the first time—Abraham Lincoln, Babe Ruth, Thomas Edison. Sometimes we will strike out many times before we will set any world records, but that doesn’t mean we should give up. We can learn from our failed attempts.

God accepts us whether we get things right or not. Oh, I believe He wants us to try—-(see James 1:3 & 1 Peter 1:7) -–and the “points” we get for trying are scored by our growth and maturity in the Lord. We have some high standards put before us, like the Ten Commandments, that seem higher than we can fulfill, but these have nothing to do with how much Father God loves and accepts us.

Our acceptance is not based on our performance, but on His love. 1 John 4:19 says, “He first loved us.” We are His children and He loves us simply because of who we are, not for what we do. But this doesn’t mean we should stop trying, but only try from the safety of knowing you are already loved and accepted just the way you are.

Know your design

It takes time and effort to know ourselves, to discover what makes us tick. You could start by asking yourself, “What comes natural to me?” I know a lady who found it came easy to study and that others naturally felt safe around her. She dove in and researched every conceivable aspect of Prayer Ministry. People started coming and receiving help. She saw people with very deep trauma healed time after time, and she quickly became a leader in the field. The redemptive gifts are the best tool I know of to help discover your design. Is it natural for you to make friends and influence people? Is it more natural to lead people and organize things to reach a goal? Do you get fulfillment working behind the scenes to make things happen?

Gain a skill set

Knowing our design helps us zero in on developing a skill set. In the example above, the lady focused on studying Prayer Ministry. I know of another lady that focused on mobilizing seniors to be a support to ministries around the city. Maybe your focus might be relational evangelism and you could become excellent at it and can effectively impart it to others. Maybe your area is finances and you could offer your services to small business owners and non-profit leaders in the Body of Christ. An accountant or doctor might realize they are particularly good at something, and could work hard to develop that niche.

Serving well brings Favor and Support

Once we have a skill set, we can become life-giving with it by serving others. As we serve well, people will begin talking about it. We will get word-of-mouth, free advertising! As that grows, others will come along and get under us and support our efforts because they see it really helps people.

Get Started!

It is often a mystery to people as to how they can fulfill the unique thing God has called them to do. In reality, there are practical steps. God wants us all to walk in what He has designed us all to be. Nothing is more fulfilling than walking in what you were made to do.

We offer coaching to help in this area. If you would like more information, please contact us.