What if you had the power to take initiative in any area of your life? Think of how effective you could be in reaching your destiny and being an influence for the kingdom of God. Think of how much you could get done, how many goals you could reach.

In early 2000 I was still fairly new on the mission field. I went to the Pollo Rey, a fast-food fried chicken place. The problem was, there was nothing fast about it. I waited and waited for my order. Others came, ordered, even received their food while I still waited! I finally blew up and started yelling for a manager in very broken Spanish.

Living in a third-world country forces us to face growing in our awareness, tolerance, and acceptance of people who are different. We get stretched into facing ways we struggle with being authoritarian. Social psychologists measure issues with authoritarianism by:

• Tendency toward black and white judgment

• Tendency to be suspicious or negative about anyone or any idea that is different

• The insistence on systems of absolute obedience

At Pollo Rey, the whole event really said, “Give me good service or my look of irritation will reveal my intolerance of your behavior.”

Locus of Control has to do with where we believe the power lies. Internal locus of control is the values and standards we have internalized that guide us; things like tolerance, self-control, and team work. For example, in childhood development, if the child is given some autonomy (self-government) he learns to make decisions and face the corresponding consequences. Then, as he matures, he becomes more self-directing. Internal control leads to personal responsibility.

External control is those things we look to from other people. A victim mentality is external control–my life is controlled by others who are seen as the ones who really count. So we think, why try? (initiative issues): “No matter how hard I study, the teacher is just against me.”

The Children of Israel in the wilderness lived here in this external locus of control. This is fostered in abusive homes were the child grows up victimized, with feelings of powerlessness, however, we can all struggle with this at some level.

A person who has “never grown up” always places blame and responsibility on others. So people can push their buttons. In this state of wounding, a person takes little or no initiative and is tossed by every wind of those persons who are seen as important.

Other cultures and difficult people at work or church, can help clarify the differences of internal and external controls. We all have “external religious patterns” that we follow—what we feel displays a Christian, what constitutes morality–the “right” way to do things. Conflict can allow  these controls to be stripped away.

“The externals of religiousness tend to decline as internal control increases. If there is no substance underlying the externals, it could be said that such a person could lose his religion.”

“For people who value taking responsibility, being accountable and being self-directing, the stretching of capacity for internal control will be seen as an important plus. Thus the intercultural sojourn and it’s stretching of one’s internal control tendency and capability are eagerly to be desired.” – Ward, T. (1984). Living Overseas. NY: Free Press

The older I get, the more I see that life is all about endurance, not quick fixes. This is not to say it is about just getting by or coasting, no; it is about seeing a mountain in front of you and taking on the challenge to climb it, even if you know it will take years to do.  Then after going to that summit, looking for the next one to climb and conquer. It is a long-term life trek.

I personally have taken on the challenge to run a marathon this year and I have been training for months. This is a long-term goal I am working towards.  Paul, in 2 Timothy 4, talks to us about living that marathon life-of enduring, longsuffering, watching, and fighting, to finish our course. Our society today is not real big on any of these. Technology is usually designed to make things easier on us, not harder. But our lives should be different from the world; we are to walk through a narrow gate, not the wider, more comfortable one.

When our problems are fixed quickly, we tend to fall back and get more lenient, not necessarily seeking the Lord every day; but when there are challenges and mountains ahead of us, we fall on our faces and cry out for mercy.  This is the true life of a Christian-diligently seeking Him, going for those insurmountable odds, knowing that it is His grace that causes us to triumph, and believing “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me!” And notice that it is “I.” It is not Him doing it, we are. “We” have to get intotraining, pick up our hiking sticks, our running shoes, and learn how to do it. He will strengthen us, but it is us who has to walk it out.  Let us take our responsibility to finish our course, leaning on Him for guidance, and going for the summit regardless of the pain and discomfort. We are overcomers taking our life-long trek of 26.2 miles, one step at a time.

1 Tim 4:2—speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron.

The subject of conscience and empathy is quite fascinating. On the far bad end of the scale you have the sociopath, who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience. Their chief characteristic is a lack of empathy because they cannot feel another’s pain. From this far end is a broad middle, where most of us have a conscience functioning at some level. What is fascinating is the role our conscience can play in keeping us from sin and moving us toward intimacy with the Lord when functioning well at the good end. John Sanford describes this well:

“There are two kinds of conscience. There is an active conscience, which causes remorse after the sin. It operates by the law. It seldom if ever works powerfully enough before the event to prevent it. It reminds us that we have failed the Lord and ourselves, but seldom if ever makes us aware of our brother’s hurt. It makes us aware only that we failed to be what we set out to be. It seldom moves us to real repentance. Repentance happens when we are hurt for the sake of the Lord and others. Remorse remains self-centered and is seen in terms of our own failure to perform.”

Then there is a healthy conscience that leads to real repentance, which “is a result of the gift of love. If I love someone, and my spirit is awake and alert, it checks me before I do a potentially harmful deed. Love constrains me because I cannot stand to hurt the one I love.”

(P.122, Healing the Wounded Spirit, John Sanford)

by Cyndi

It’s that time of year again-fall soccer season.  A time for sunshine, grass stains, Gatorade and muddy cleats.  As I was praying for my son’s upcoming game this week, the thought occurred to me, “I bet God has a soccer mom’s heart”.  What is a soccer mom’s heart? It’s one that wants to protect their baby from getting hurt, yet wants to see them excel and grow into maturity. It’s one that yells from the sideline to play hard, yet is in anguish inside when she sees her child fallen on the field. It’s a heart that desires her child to be the best that they can be, yet without having to “perform” to be loved. They love their child, win or lose, clean or dirty.

A soccer mom takes their child to practice, washes their smelly uniforms, and stands out in the rain during games with a poncho from Sea World on, much to the child’s embarrassment.  She screams, she cheers, watching and encouraging. And not all the focus is about scoring a goal. Yes, it is great when it’s your child that scores the winning goal, but not everyone is supposed to be a forward and shoot. (You see, you learn all these terms for the positions when you are a soccer mom.) There are forwards, midfields, wings, goalies, different positions with different jobs to do on the team; but we moms just want them to do their best and give it their all in whatever position they play.

I believe that is how God feels about us. I think He does have a soccer mom’s heart. He is always there for us, taking us through “practices”, cleaning up our “stuff” when we get dirty, encouraging us to play harder and run faster. He is also always there when we walk off the field after an agonizing defeat, putting His arm around our shoulders saying how proud He was of us for hanging in there and trying our best.  And best of all, He is always there to support us even if we just sit on the bench and never get in the game. He loves us no matter what, win or lose, clean or dirty.