How God Sees a Monster

When I was around five years old I had a dog named Muttly, he was named that because he was a mutt! I really loved playing with him. I would go and hide and he would always find me. One day he messed on the carpet or some such thing and my dad went into a rage. I can still picture the scene taking place in my living room. Dad started beating Muttly with his belt, backing him into a corner. He still was not satisfied and turned the belt around to hit him with the metal end. I can remember yelling, “No dad, not with the buckle!”

There were many other times when my dad became a monster. Fear entered my heart and a pattern of fear developed. There were these outrageous events that would take place growing up, experiences that reinforced fear of impending doom, fear that the world is dangerous. Many of us struggle with so many fears: health concerns, “Will I end up with diabetes or have a heart attack or cancer?”, family worries, “Will my children do well?” or “Will my marriage work out?” finances, “Will I have a retirement or even be able to pay my bills this month?”

We kind of have this evil foreboding of impending doom. So much of this comes down to, “Do I believe that God is good and that He loves me?” Over this past week I read The Shack by William Young; it really brought out this concept of whether or not I believe God is good.

Romans 12:2 says we should be transformed by the renewing of our minds. I believe much of this has to do with learning that God is good all the time. Some primary people in my life have not always chosen God’s will in relation to me, bad things have happened and I drew some wrong conclusions about God as a result. I embraced a life of fear. God has so much more!

1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” The word “perfect” here in the Greek means complete or mature. Fear in any area of my life means that there is something not completed or matured in me of love, some way I do not quite believe God is good all the time.

There was a time that the mere thought of my dad entering my mind made me punch walls. But love came and set me free. I received ministry one day over Muttly. As I was being prayed for I saw Jesus, His arm was around my shoulder and a tear was streaming down His cheek. I wondered why he was crying. Then I knew; it was for all the pain he saw in my dad’s heart that would cause him to act in such a way. He then told me that even as His arm was around my shoulder that He had always been there for me, protecting me all my life.

Boy did that change my perspective! I moved from fear and judgment to love and understanding and compassion. Love started casting fear out of my heart.