By Robert
The church is coming to understand clearer that our spiritual maturity cannot surpass our emotional maturity. Teaching on overcoming wounding most often focuses on the problem. It is implied that if we can just overcome this particular problem, all will be well. So what does it take to reach emotional maturity? What does it even look like?
Understanding personhood gives us a roadmap of the steps.
The Free Dictionary defines personhood as “the state or condition of being a person, especially having those qualities that confer distinct individuality.”
Personhood means you are comfortable in your own skin. It means living in a sense of legitimacy and dignity. When parents are nurturing, when they create a safe emotional environment, and when boundaries are respected, a person grows and develops a strong sense of personhood.
The problem is that all of us have control issues at some level. It may be overt or passive—using anger and manipulative words, or using withdrawal and relationship cut-offs. Control, by definition, is demeaning towards another and does not respect boundaries. When someone feels free to think what they think, feel what they feel, and to make their own choices and face the consequences therein, they grow and mature. When mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual boundaries are crossed, shame is communicated and personhood is diminished.
Dear Robert
Thank you again for your depth of insight.
I’ve discovered that to feel ashamed of who you are causes all kinds of wrong ways of trying to cope, trying to ‘help’ others in the same boat and often end up even more shamed.
But All Glory and Praise to our Loving Heavenly Father for He Knows and Understands and Cares and doesn’t Want Any to perish, but All to come to a Saving Knowledge of Him!
God Bless you!
Lynn
Just when I think I am grasping how to live and walk in dignity I discover that there are yet situations where I can’t find freedom from wrong self-talk or attitudes toward myself by merely ‘knowing and claiming this is how God intended I live, Jesus reestablished it, so therefore I choose to live in dignity.’
Establishing dignity in a life is more difficult than that, although it IS helpful in some cases just to know of personhood and its accompanying value, dignity.
I think I’ve allowed shame in at certain times–albeit unknowingly–and it is a part of my spirit now whether I want it there or not.