What Is Darkness?

January 13, 2012 By 1 Comment

By Cyndi

We live in a world that values strength and belittles weakness. We idolize characters such as Rambo, John Wayne, and Jason Bourne. It is so easy to feel that there is no way to advance in life if people see our weaknesses, our personal struggles. So we tend to be drawn toward hiding these things about ourselves. We want to put them in the dark where no one can see them. Yet, if we can’t even acknowledge we have struggles, how can we ever hope to overcome them? Understanding what is darkness and what is light puts a huge tool in our hands for growth.

Blatant sin, of course, is darkness; however, there can be smaller, less noticeable ways where we might be living in the dark. 1 John 1:6 says,”… if we say we have fellowship with God, but we continue living in darkness, we lie and do not follow the truth.” So what exactly does this “living in darkness” mean? Simply put, anything that is hidden and not exposed. To paraphrase Andrew Murray’s definition of humility, darkness is not being willing to be known for who we really are.

If we are humble – being known for who we really are – then we find no reason to hide our past, our present struggles, or our future dreams. But being open and transparent like this involves risk. If we were to divulge certain things about ourselves, people may reject us or make fun of us, or even worse, they may not love and accept us. And it’s possible they may abandon us.

It’s much easier to stay in the dark than to take the chance of living in openness and transparency, but unfortunately, there are “friends” that tend to hang around us there. Fear, worry, anxiety, shame, guilt – all of these can be our ‘best friends’ when we’re in darkness. And there’s no peace or rest there. Only by embracing light do we position ourselves to experience growth.

We can be free from our past and live emotionally present in all our relationships today! By facing the hidden darkness in our lives, we can find freedom to be who we really are, unashamedly. Light is the place where we have the actual experience of feeling secure in our Father’s arms and live open-hearted to the world.

Filed Under: Christianity, Father's Love, humility, Shame, Spiritual Maturity Tagged With: , , , , ,

Unadorned

December 18, 2010 By Leave a Comment

By Cyndi

I’m sitting here writing next to my undecorated Christmas tree. It’s about six feet tall–no lights, no ornaments, no icicles, not even a star at the top yet. Only crookedly poised in its stand, with a lean to the left, and a blanket around the bottom. There it is. Naked and bare, by Christmas standards. Then I thought, “Isn’t this how we stand before God? Naked at the foot of the cross?”

In Psalm 139:14 it says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Just the way we are. Without ornaments, without ribbons, without lights or flashy commercialized decorations. God loves us. Period.

Isn’t that what Christmas is about anyway? This is the time of year we celebrate God sending His Son, Jesus, to be born in our world as a baby. Just like us. Without hoopla, without formal announcements, without Facebook friends commenting. He came.

He humbly came to reveal His great love for us. We weren’t getting it through the prophets and teachers. We weren’t getting it through the laws and commandments. We weren’t getting it through the kings and priests who were leading us. We needed to see Him face to face, to eat dinner with Him, to laugh at jokes with Him, to know He understood where we’re coming from. He came.

So it’s okay that my Christmas tree is still bare. I’ll decorate it soon. But it’s beautiful just as it is. A reminder. He loves me just the way I am.

Filed Under: Father's Love Tagged With: , ,

How Do You Grow Up Emotionally?

November 4, 2010 By 3 Comments

By Robert

There are many different techniques and approaches to counseling and prayer ministry, however, at the end of the day, there has to be the component of emotion honesty. Emotional honesty is something that can never be bypassed. This leads to becoming differentiated.

Differentiated
A person is differentiated when nothing about a situation or person can “push their buttons” in any way.  They have looked at it, been honest about how they feel about it, and worked all the way through it to total peace. Now they are free to do whatever God says. As good and logical as this sounds, many people feel a real resistance to this.

Resistance
The resistance generally takes the form of total avoidance, hyper-spiritual avoidance, or outright defiance to the very idea of it. The hyper-spiritual avoidance has to do with going after deep and mystical stuff or complicated ministry techniques. There can be some value in some of this except when it gets used as just another way to avoid any real feelings. So how does this work?

Emotional Honesty
Emotional honesty is very simple but not necessarily easy. It is getting in touch with how I really feel about something. There are often layers, things I believe about getting at how I really feel.

For example, someone may have a memory of being made fun of in high school in a very hurtful way. They know in their heart that if they think too much about that memory, then it will really hurt. So, the question becomes, “How do you feel about looking at how you felt in that traumatic event?” Often, the response is “that would be too painful,” or “too embarrassing,” or “too fearful.” So we have to talk to God about that first. It’s one step at a time, one layer at a time.

Eventually the person resolves all the reasons why they don’t want to look at that memory they have avoided for years, then they can be honest about how it really made them feel. It may be a feeling of deep anger over how they were treated. It may be a feeling of shame. It may be sadness or regret. Once true acknowledgment has happened, it is relatively easy to go to God with it and resolve it.

Fruit of Emotional Maturity
There are people I have worked with for awhile and as we met, they had many daily circumstances and people that triggered them. Over time we got to all of these one by one and the person became more and more differentiated. Eventually, they walked in a whole new rest and peace. Even other people noticed there was a difference. They became rooted and grounded in love. A sense of legitimacy develops to be who I am, to feel what I feel, and to think what I think, even if it might be wrong. They realize it’s okay to make a mistake, and they don’t have to be perfect anymore, knowing God loves them just as they are.

Filed Under: Emotional Health, Prayer Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

Keeping Your Form

October 29, 2010 By Leave a Comment

By Cyndi

While running the other morning I was acutely aware that my form was falling apart. That form where I have my shoulders back, my pelvis straight, my eyes looking ahead and my body in fluid motion just wasn’t happening–and I suffered because of it. The run was hard, my body was hurting, and my mind was completely distracted in twenty different directions.

This reminded me of times when my Christian form falls apart. I get busy, my devotions stop, my praying stops, my mind dwells on all the negatives around me…I stop doing what I know I should do. Peter, as an apostolic “coach,” says he doesn’t have a problem reminding us we need to review the fundamentals we were originally taught (2 Pet.1:12).

Most athletes know that errors or injuries occur when they depart from the fundamentals. They know the extreme necessity for keeping your form correct. Whether it is your backhand swing, your batting stance, or your foot positions in ballet, all of these details have a tremendous amount of influence on the outcome.

And what about those basic basic Christian fundamentals—like loving God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind (Luke 10:27)?  Or Micah 6:8, “to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God”?  Before even getting to the primary disciplines of Christianity, we must first receive His love and acceptance, and build on that. We love Him because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

All I know is that when I’m running and my form is falling apart, I need to focus back on my breathing, my posture, where my eyes are focused—the fundamentals. It’s back to basics.

Filed Under: Christianity, Encouragement, Love, Running Tagged With: , , , ,

Father Loves You

October 22, 2010 By 1 Comment

By Robert

Jack & Trisha Frost of Shiloh Place Ministries laid such a foundation of the Father’s love in my life. As you read today’s post, see if you heart can embrace God’s passion for you.

God is not ashamed to be called your Father. He delights to be a Father to you and to have you as His child. He is passionate in His love toward you. You are the apple of His eye. He rejoices over you with joy and with singing. He is thrilled to be your Father and to have you as His child. You are the child in whom He loves and in whom He is well pleased, just like Jesus.

He’s not ashamed of you, put out by you, nor disappointed in you. You are not a burden to Him. He loves you. His banner or standard over you is love. His total heart response toward you is love. He never thinks a negative thought about you. His thoughts toward you are good and loving, to give you hope and a future.

All things are opened to His eyes. There is nothing you’ve ever done that He didn’t already know about before He created the heavens and the earth. Your failings and short comings do not challenge or threaten Him in any way. He is all powerful and all knowing. He is fully able to finish the work He began in you. His total heart response toward you is love. He is love!

Filed Under: Father's Love Tagged With: , , , , ,

Brushstrokes

October 8, 2010 By 5 Comments

By Cyndi
Not long ago Robert and I got an opportunity to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art where there were some of the most famous paintings from all of history by Rembrandt, Picasso, Gauguin and so many others. It was amazing to stand and look upon these works of art that were so beautifully and meticulously crafted, such masterpieces. Even more incredible to me was getting closer to these paintings and looking at the intricate tiny details that were put into them.

Up close you can see the individual brushstrokes where the artist would sometimes use a shade of yellow to reflect light, or other darker blends to create shadows. The minuscule details of coat buttons, shoe buckles, and textures of hair were extraordinary. I stood in awe at how a beautiful masterpiece was made up of thousands of small brushstrokes.

As God usually does, He brought the natural realm into the spiritual for me. He reminded me that I am made up of thousands of little brushstrokes too–experiences in my life. Some of these brushstrokes are tragedies—losses, missed opportunities, failures, broken relationships; while others are more positive—celebrations, anniversaries, successes and accomplishments.

The Master Artist paints my life:  there’s a splotch on the canvas as I graduated high school, a line drawn when I failed accounting, a burst of color when my son was born. Hues and shades and textures are added—one-inch brushes, thickening my thoughts and carving out my destiny through college, work, marriage, traveling. There are even occasions where it feels like He is blotting and blurring with a cloth or sponge, leaving me confused and seeking for deeper relationships and knowledge; yet He continues to paint, ever conscious of the final portrait.

Many times I can only see the brushstrokes in my life–little things that don’t seem to be connected or have any significant meaning on their own. But Father God is faithful to help me step back and look at the whole painting. The individual strokes and textures disappear into one big magnificent masterpiece–me. Greater than any Van Gogh, Monet, or Matisse, I am God’s work of art. Each specific stroke is used by Him to create who I am. And He is proud of it. He even puts His signature at the bottom: Isa.43:1–“I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.”

Filed Under: Encouragement, Father's Love Tagged With: ,

Boundaries 101

October 1, 2010 By 3 Comments

By Cyndi

There is a freedom and a maturity that come when we learn to walk in boundaries. This is a place of rest and peace that God wants us to abide in. This is where we become truly effective in ministering to others.

What are boundaries? Boundaries define what is me and what is not me. In other words, they are where I end and others begin. The purpose of boundaries is to separate, just like physical boundaries divide where one country ends and another begins. There are borders we cross over where we leave one and enter another. We, as people, also have “borders.”

God created us as separate individuals uniquely designed for a plan and purpose. Each of us have our own thoughts, beliefs, talents, feelings, likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams, and fears. In last week’s Stepping Stone, Robert shared on being aware of who you really are–really knowing what you feel and believe. It is important to have your own hopes and dreams, your own emotions, apart from spouses, families, and friends.

If you look at a brick house, you can see the individual bricks. They haven’t changed their distinctiveness; they are merely stacked together to build up one house. 1 Peter 2:5 says we are to be “living stones” made into one spiritual house. There is something bigger as we are connected, yet we are still different from one another, unlike mixing water with lemonade where there is a total blending of the two.

So what is the point of knowing your boundaries? It helps us see what we are and are not responsible for. Many of us build up resentments and anger because we are feeling compelled by others to do something that we really don’t want to do. Pressure from fear, disappointment, guilt, and expectations are put upon us that cause us to act in ways that we really do not want to. We can’t say no. We have become watery lemonade, blended into them, rather than maintaining our own brick identity.

Father God designed us to be unique, diverse individuals who can gain strength from one another to build His kingdom–His spiritual house. But we are to do this without devaluing each others’ feelings and emotions in the process.  Secure your borders.

Filed Under: Boundaries, design, Emotions, Personhood, responsibility, self awareness Tagged With: , , , ,

Right Brain vs. Left Brain

September 5, 2010 By 1 Comment

How do you sense and hear God? I believe it takes some right-brain awareness to hear Him.
Differences in functions:
Left Brain = logical, details, facts, practicality, science, and math.
Right Brain = creativity, feeling, intuition, symbols, images.

A few interesting observations on the subject:
Living in a world that is hugely left-brained, we end up with a much more material focus rather than a spiritual one.

One stream of thought says that left-brain focused culture shuts down the feminine. We have taught this idea in the Father’s love messages–The Great Commission vs. The Great Commandment. I have wondered for years why radical Islam treats women so poorly. Most men I know like women. However, if the devil can get a society to oppress women, he can really shut down love, nurture, spiritual things, and beauty in life. This creates an environment much more conducive to his activities of evil.

The language of the spirit is intuition, impressions, images, feeling, and pictures. Consider all the various word pictures God gave to people in scripture: a burning bush, four creatures with wheels within wheels, a valley with dry bones, golden candlesticks…

Here’s a fun test you can take to give you an idea of your right and left brain activity.
Right brain vs. left brain

If we’re having a hard time sensing the Lord, maybe we need to develop our right brain a little more.

Filed Under: calling, design, destiny, right brain left brain Tagged With: ,

Accessing Provision

August 18, 2010 By 2 Comments

God is a Father that will never leave us, it is His good pleasure to give us the kingdom, we are with Him always and all that He has is ours. There is a life of serenity, of being daily grounded in His love regardless of circumstances. There is a place of living as an overcomer rather than with a slave mentality like the children of Israel in the wilderness. However, the big question is, how do we access it?

Here’s a profound truth – to receive help we have to be able to ask for it. Nevertheless, the asking can feel really vulnerable, even like something is wrong with me or I have a weakness. Why is this a struggle for so many?

Growing up with an angry father communicated clearly to me the three rules of a dysfunctional family: don’t trust, don’t talk, and don’t feel. There was no model for asking for help. Having a problem meant either ridicule or punishment. So if I can’t ask for help and receive it in a healthy way, what’s left? A victim mentality, complaining, self-pity, acting helpless, and acting out.

The way up is the way down. It is not getting stronger but getting weaker that brings the victory.

2 Corinthians 12–“My grace is sufficient for you, My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why I delight in weaknesses… For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Filed Under: destiny, Encouragement, Personhood, Shame Tagged With: , , , ,

Milk and Cookies

July 30, 2010 By 1 Comment

By Cyndi

As my friend and I were having lunch the other day, our conversation began to turn towards all the negativity in the world today and how it would be nice to see more positive things going on.                                                                                                      

This reminded me of something Jack Frost said one time in a meeting. He talked about how most of us older folks (over 40) can remember someone in our childhood years who gave out “milk and cookies.” By milk and cookies, he meant those positive affirmations. Maybe our parents were always fighting or never home, but there was the neighbor’s mom who always let us come over and play making us feel welcomed; there was a grandfather who encouraged us when we struck out over and over again playing baseball; there was the aunt who took the time to teach us to bake, showing patience as we cracked eggs onto the floor and made mistakes as we learned. There was someone, somewhere who loved us and showed us kindness and affection even when we felt like we had failed.

Unfortunately, that is not necessarily the case today. Many young people have no one who expresses love to them in a healthy, Godly way, so all they know is rejection and abandonment. So what is my response? How can I give out some “milk and cookies” today?

I could let my son bring all his friends over after a soccer game and have a cookout. I could have patience and try to help the teenage driver trying to parallel park next to me. I could even volunteer to work with the scouts, a youth group, or a local Boys and Girls Club. Maybe it would just be a smile, a touch on the shoulder, a wink, or a thumbs up to someone–but something to express to them how much Father thinks the world of them and loves them unconditionally.

We are His hands on this earth and we can choose to look for the positives or look for the negatives. Anyone up for milk and cookies?

Filed Under: Encouragement, Father's Love, Jack Frost, Love, purpose Tagged With: , , , ,
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