A few interesting observations on the subject:
Living in a world that is hugely left-brained, we end up with a much more material focus rather than a spiritual one.

One stream of thought says that left-brain focused culture shuts down the feminine. We have taught this idea in the Father’s love messages–The Great Commission vs. The Great Commandment. I have wondered for years why radical Islam treats women so poorly. Most men I know like women. However, if the devil can get a society to oppress women, he can really shut down love, nurture, spiritual things, and beauty in life. This creates an environment much more conducive to his activities of evil.

The language of the spirit is intuition, impressions, images, feeling, and pictures. Consider all the various word pictures God gave to people in scripture: a burning bush, four creatures with wheels within wheels, a valley with dry bones, golden candlesticks…

Here’s a fun test you can take to give you an idea of your right and left brain activity.
Right brain vs. left brain

If we’re having a hard time sensing the Lord, maybe we need to develop our right brain a little more.

Here’s a profound truth – to receive help we have to be able to ask for it. Nevertheless, the asking can feel really vulnerable, even like something is wrong with me or I have a weakness. Why is this a struggle for so many?

Growing up with an angry father communicated clearly to me the three rules of a dysfunctional family: don’t trust, don’t talk, and don’t feel. There was no model for asking for help. Having a problem meant either ridicule or punishment. So if I can’t ask for help and receive it in a healthy way, what’s left? A victim mentality, complaining, self-pity, acting helpless, and acting out.

The way up is the way down. It is not getting stronger but getting weaker that brings the victory.

2 Corinthians 12–“My grace is sufficient for you, My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why I delight in weaknesses… For when I am weak, then I am strong.

As my friend and I were having lunch the other day, our conversation began to turn towards all the negativity in the world today and how it would be nice to see more positive things going on.                                                                                                      

This reminded me of something Jack Frost said one time in a meeting. He talked about how most of us older folks (over 40) can remember someone in our childhood years who gave out “milk and cookies.” By milk and cookies, he meant those positive affirmations. Maybe our parents were always fighting or never home, but there was the neighbor’s mom who always let us come over and play making us feel welcomed; there was a grandfather who encouraged us when we struck out over and over again playing baseball; there was the aunt who took the time to teach us to bake, showing patience as we cracked eggs onto the floor and made mistakes as we learned. There was someone, somewhere who loved us and showed us kindness and affection even when we felt like we had failed.

Unfortunately, that is not necessarily the case today. Many young people have no one who expresses love to them in a healthy, Godly way, so all they know is rejection and abandonment. So what is my response? How can I give out some “milk and cookies” today?

I could let my son bring all his friends over after a soccer game and have a cookout. I could have patience and try to help the teenage driver trying to parallel park next to me. I could even volunteer to work with the scouts, a youth group, or a local Boys and Girls Club. Maybe it would just be a smile, a touch on the shoulder, a wink, or a thumbs up to someone–but something to express to them how much Father thinks the world of them and loves them unconditionally.

We are His hands on this earth and we can choose to look for the positives or look for the negatives. Anyone up for milk and cookies?

Absolute Thinking
“Adam and Eve should have been obedient to God.” “We need to humble ourselves and pray and turn from our wicked ways.” “God’s judgment is coming on America for all her wickedness.” These statements have some truth in them, and yet this line of thinking can miss a vital point.

Basic Trust
All abuse involves the crossing of boundaries. When I make a wrong statement and my dad backhands me, shame has just been communicated to me. Growing up, I was not free to think whatever I wanted. My opinions had no value unless they lined up with dad’s, and my physical space was not honored as I was slapped. This led me to the conclusion that something must be “wrong” with me– shame came.  Just as crossing mental, emotional, and physical boundaries communicates shame, the respecting of these boundaries communicates worth and dignity. When a person grows up with safety and value for their personhood, trust develops. Trust is the springboard of obedience. When I trust someone, I can open my heart to them and give myself to them.

Disobedience
All disobedience flows out of a misunderstanding and mistrust of God’s nature. God first of all values free choice, personhood. All intimacy flows from here. This does not mean in any way that there are not consequences for our actions–there are. But it does mean that God does not demean or shame us for our wrong thoughts, feelings, or choices. God is safe.

The other day I was reading through John 4 about Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well, and I saw such an intricate plan of God revealed in their conversations. First I noticed how Jesus gently engages with her, asking for a drink, and how He entices her with a riddle to prick her mind–”Sir, you have nothing to draw with…where do you get that living water?” He draws her in closer, explaining how wonderful this water is and how there is hope and life in it. She leans into His words.

But then He mentions the issue about her husband, or rather, husbands, and she goes into all kinds of diversions, hoping to avoid the true issue in her heart. She is living in denial, trying to ignore the giant love deficit in her life. It is extremely painful for her to look into her heart and really see what is there, yet Jesus’ mercy and kindness is so pure, she ventures in. He slowly exposes her, all the while tenderly showing His love, even in the midst of the ugliness–but truth–of her past. His compassion finally gets to the core of her being as she uncaringly leaves her water jar at the well and runs back into town.

In this story, the Lord draws this Samaritan woman to Himself and she feels true, unconditional love probably for the first time in her life. Her sins were uncovered, yet she felt a blanket of love around her. This great love gave her the courage to unmask herself to the point that she even tells others about Him, and how He can make them also feel such freedom.

This is such a wonderful example of how the Lord draws us. There are many times when I sense the Lord probing me. Sometimes I am in denial about issues in my life and I’m trying to avoid dealing with them. I don’t like feeling the pain so I stuff them into a corner of my heart with a “Do Not Disturb” sign over them daring anyone to bring up the matter.

But God is faithful to gently draw me to Himself, even as He did this woman. He unveils and exposes me, not to ridicule and shame me, but to cleanse me and heal me.

May we all be attentive to His drawing this week.

Why do I speak kindly with my wife and show her patience? Is it just because it is the right thing to do? Maybe it’s because I don’t want to look like someone who is curt or angry. Maybe I fear God will be angry with me if I don’t. These types of responses all represent one level of obedience, actually a level where many of us live.

Empathy is higher.

A second level is a place where love compels us, not fear. We could say that this is “really” living. When we live and obey at this level, we have moved from a semi-depersonalized existence into agape. But to do this requires a developed personhood where I have value for my own thoughts and feelings first. I need to be in a place of feeling comfortable in my own skin, embracing and rejoicing in who God has made me to be—where issues of shame that have made me feel like an object have been resolved, and I’m walking in the dignity of being God’s child, fearfully and wonderfully made. It is then that I can express that to others.

Empathy: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.

Do you ever feel like you have to live up to expectations that seem higher than you can fulfill? Do you live with pressure from others to perform to perfection, and if you don’t, you’re not accepted? Many of us live in daily stress, hoping to gain acceptance from what we do or don’t do.

Acceptance can come in many forms. It can be a promotion or an increase in pay at our job, a pat on the back from our coach, the words “Nice work!” written on the top of a page from a teacher, or a loving glance from our spouse.Whatever it might be, and from whomever it may come, each of us have a God-given need for acceptance. Unfortunately, the world teaches us we have to do something to get it. And not just do something, but do it right. That’s it—it’s either black or white, right or wrong—no points for trying.

My father used to have a saying: “Don’t tell me you can’t, tell me you’ll try.” I think he realized there were many things in life that seem like insurmountable obstacles, and just because you can’t get it right the first time, doesn’t mean you don’t get points for trying. History records multiple accounts of those who didn’t succeed the first time—Abraham Lincoln, Babe Ruth, Thomas Edison. Sometimes we will strike out many times before we will set any world records, but that doesn’t mean we should give up. We can learn from our failed attempts.

God accepts us whether we get things right or not. Oh, I believe He wants us to try—-(see James 1:3 & 1 Peter 1:7) -–and the “points” we get for trying are scored by our growth and maturity in the Lord. We have some high standards put before us, like the Ten Commandments, that seem higher than we can fulfill, but these have nothing to do with how much Father God loves and accepts us.

Our acceptance is not based on our performance, but on His love. 1 John 4:19 says, “He first loved us.” We are His children and He loves us simply because of who we are, not for what we do. But this doesn’t mean we should stop trying, but only try from the safety of knowing you are already loved and accepted just the way you are.

Joe felt so disconnected, always on the outside, at work and school and church. As he was growing up his dad had never been around. There had never really been a man in his life to call forth his identity. Julie felt an almost continual low-level anxiety—constantly afraid things might fall apart. She had a sense of impending doom, a fear of financial disaster, or some grave illness or family crisis. It was so hard to believe God would be available to her.

Eph 3:14-15 (AMP) For this reason I bow my knees before the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, For Whom every family in heaven and on earth is named [that Father from Whom all fatherhood takes its title and derives its name].

Fathering, mothering, and family are all God’s idea and God’s design. Every little boy and little girl needs to know dad and mom love them, and be secure in that love. Children need a sense of connection and identity. They need to know they are supported in all the life skills they must acquire to grow up.

When these foundational elements are missing (connection, identity, and support), wounding often takes place. God’s plan is for a divine exchange to happen, where Christians shift from the family model their parents gave them, to connecting directly with God’s love. We should feel like sons in His family rather than orphans. Most all wounding is based right here in these three elements. Think about it. Any fears I have—anxieties over finances, health, family, destiny—are all rooted in a difficulty believing God will be there for me. It is orphan living.

All healing needs to be based in these three things as well. Finding a connection to God’s love, and having our identity in that rather than performance or independence, is what brings about healing. There is a safe place in His love for both emotional and physical needs.  Just forgiving those who hurt us or trying to get rid of pain should not be the goal. Having intimacy with God, learning to live a connected, Fathered life, daily walking in His love and in sonship, is what He wants for all of us.

The other night I was helping my son study for a vocabulary test, and I have to admit, there were some words on the list that I didn’t know. But one which I did know was idiosyncrasy. What a great word. Isn’t it fun just to say it? It has a unique feel about it. I feel different just for saying it. The definition of it, according to dictionary.com, is “a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual.” Hmm…I know a verse that mentions the word “peculiar,” 1 Peter 2:9—“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people…”

It is so interesting to see how diversified we all are. Each one of us has certain quirks and tell-tale signs that identify us. We have different likes and dislikes. We have our own marked style of how we talk, how we walk, how we dress, and how we eat. For example, take eating Oreo cookies. You will find multiple modes of what some say are the “right” way to do this. I know within my family there are at least three “best” procedures to eat them, and they all must include milk. However, the fact is, there is no right or wrong method, just your own.

One of my idiosyncrasies is how I put my shoes and socks on always left foot first. The order has to be left sock, left shoe, right sock, right shoe. I do not know why I do this, but I do. Just like I have always put my left earring on first before my right, and wear my watch on my right wrist instead of my left. I have some peculiar habits that make me who I am and not someone else.

God delights in our individuality. He created us in His image (Gen. 1:26), yet has given each one of us our own characteristics, distinguishing us one from another. We all develop unique habits and mannerisms that pertain solely to us, making us peculiar people. We are supposed to be diverse. Revel and enjoy your idiosyncrasies. You are special.

There was a point in time where I could hardly make a decision on my own. If you would have asked me what I wanted to do, without thinking I would have replied, “I don’t care, whatever you want.” If you would have asked me where I wanted to go out for dinner, I would have replied, “I don’t care, wherever you want.” If you would have asked me what movie I wanted to see, I would again have replied, “I don’t care, whatever one you would like.” It wasn’t that I really didn’t care, though I thought so at the time, it was that I didn’t know what I truly felt. I didn’t take the time to think and ask myself those questions—I thought my point of view had no value.

My emotions had been pushed so far down in order to please others and “follow the rules,” that I had stopped considering what my own feelings were or what opinions I might have.  This happened because I allowed my emotional boundaries to be crossed—I had allowed others to tell me what I should think and feel.

Boundaries are where one thing stops and another thing begins.  Think about borders of countries or even a fence, for example—one area is separated from another.  In people, there can be physical, mental and emotional boundaries that define who we are, and who we are not. Whenever these lines are crossed without permission, it takes away from my personhood, blurring the point of what makes me, me and you, you.

If I agree with everybody and everything, changing my beliefs, opinions, and morals to morph with whomever I am with, then I am not defined. I become like a child, as Paul states in Ephesians 4:14, who is “tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine.”

Others can influence me to the point where I really don’t know what I believe, nor why. My own personhood doesn’t get developed. I stop making decisions based on what I think or want because I’m more concerned with what others think or want. Eventually, for me, this led to believing that they really do know what’s best and that my views or impressions didn’t have any value or worth.  I didn’t set an emotional boundary that said, “You have a right to your likes and dislikes, and I have a right to mine.”

At times I still struggle to set boundaries with others, but knowing Father God sees me as a unique individual with value, and Who made me different from others for a reason, has given me great strength and courage to define myself.  My decision making has gotten better too. Now, if I say, “I don’t care, whatever you want,” then it’s because I already thought about it, and I truly don’t have a preference. Although Chinese food is one of my favorites.