By Robert
There are many different techniques and approaches to counseling and prayer ministry, however, at the end of the day, there has to be the component of emotion honesty. Emotional honesty is something that can never be bypassed. This leads to becoming differentiated.
Differentiated
A person is differentiated when nothing about a situation or person can “push their buttons” in any way. They have looked at it, been honest about how they feel about it, and worked all the way through it to total peace. Now they are free to do whatever God says. As good and logical as this sounds, many people feel a real resistance to this.
Resistance
The resistance generally takes the form of total avoidance, hyper-spiritual avoidance, or outright defiance to the very idea of it. The hyper-spiritual avoidance has to do with going after deep and mystical stuff or complicated ministry techniques. There can be some value in some of this except when it gets used as just another way to avoid any real feelings. So how does this work?
Emotional Honesty
Emotional honesty is very simple but not necessarily easy. It is getting in touch with how I really feel about something. There are often layers, things I believe about getting at how I really feel.
For example, someone may have a memory of being made fun of in high school in a very hurtful way. They know in their heart that if they think too much about that memory, then it will really hurt. So, the question becomes, “How do you feel about looking at how you felt in that traumatic event?” Often, the response is “that would be too painful,” or “too embarrassing,” or “too fearful.” So we have to talk to God about that first. It’s one step at a time, one layer at a time.
Eventually the person resolves all the reasons why they don’t want to look at that memory they have avoided for years, then they can be honest about how it really made them feel. It may be a feeling of deep anger over how they were treated. It may be a feeling of shame. It may be sadness or regret. Once true acknowledgment has happened, it is relatively easy to go to God with it and resolve it.
Fruit of Emotional Maturity
There are people I have worked with for awhile and as we met, they had many daily circumstances and people that triggered them. Over time we got to all of these one by one and the person became more and more differentiated. Eventually, they walked in a whole new rest and peace. Even other people noticed there was a difference. They became rooted and grounded in love. A sense of legitimacy develops to be who I am, to feel what I feel, and to think what I think, even if it might be wrong. They realize it’s okay to make a mistake, and they don’t have to be perfect anymore, knowing God loves them just as they are.
have my shoulders back, my pelvis straight, my eyes looking ahead and my body in fluid motion just wasn’t happening–and I suffered because of it. The run was hard, my body was hurting, and my mind was completely distracted in twenty different directions.
m He loves and in whom He is well pleased, just like Jesus.
As God usually does, He brought the natural realm into the spiritual for me. He reminded me that I am made up of thousands of little brushstrokes too–
What are boundaries? Boundaries define what is me and what is not me. In other words, they are where I end and others begin. The purpose of boundaries is to separate, just like physical boundaries divide where one country ends and another begins. There are borders we cross over where we leave one and enter another. We, as people, also have “borders.”
their distinctiveness; they are merely stacked together to build up one house. 1 Peter 2:5 says we are to be “living stones” made into one spiritual house. There is something bigger as we are connected, yet we are still different from one another, unlike mixing water with lemonade where there is a total blending of the two.
Here’s a profound truth – to receive help we have to be able to ask for it. Nevertheless, the asking can feel really vulnerable, even like something is wrong with me or I have a weakness. Why is this a struggle for so many?
denial, trying to ignore the giant love deficit in her life. It is extremely painful for her to look into her heart and really see what is there, yet Jesus’ mercy and kindness is so pure, she ventures in. He slowly exposes her, all the while tenderly showing His love, even in the midst of the ugliness–but truth–of her past. His compassion finally gets to the core of her being as she uncaringly leaves her water jar at the well and runs back into town.
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