What Is Darkness?

January 13, 2012 By 1 Comment

By Cyndi

We live in a world that values strength and belittles weakness. We idolize characters such as Rambo, John Wayne, and Jason Bourne. It is so easy to feel that there is no way to advance in life if people see our weaknesses, our personal struggles. So we tend to be drawn toward hiding these things about ourselves. We want to put them in the dark where no one can see them. Yet, if we can’t even acknowledge we have struggles, how can we ever hope to overcome them? Understanding what is darkness and what is light puts a huge tool in our hands for growth.

Blatant sin, of course, is darkness; however, there can be smaller, less noticeable ways where we might be living in the dark. 1 John 1:6 says,”… if we say we have fellowship with God, but we continue living in darkness, we lie and do not follow the truth.” So what exactly does this “living in darkness” mean? Simply put, anything that is hidden and not exposed. To paraphrase Andrew Murray’s definition of humility, darkness is not being willing to be known for who we really are.

If we are humble – being known for who we really are – then we find no reason to hide our past, our present struggles, or our future dreams. But being open and transparent like this involves risk. If we were to divulge certain things about ourselves, people may reject us or make fun of us, or even worse, they may not love and accept us. And it’s possible they may abandon us.

It’s much easier to stay in the dark than to take the chance of living in openness and transparency, but unfortunately, there are “friends” that tend to hang around us there. Fear, worry, anxiety, shame, guilt – all of these can be our ‘best friends’ when we’re in darkness. And there’s no peace or rest there. Only by embracing light do we position ourselves to experience growth.

We can be free from our past and live emotionally present in all our relationships today! By facing the hidden darkness in our lives, we can find freedom to be who we really are, unashamedly. Light is the place where we have the actual experience of feeling secure in our Father’s arms and live open-hearted to the world.

Filed Under: Christianity, Father's Love, humility, Shame, Spiritual Maturity Tagged With: , , , , ,

Considering the Impossible

December 16, 2011 By 2 Comments

By Cyndi

With Christmas upon us, I’ve been thinking a lot about the birth of Jesus. For example, look at  Mary. She was just an ordinary teenager and an angel shows up one day telling her she’s going to be impregnated by the Holy Spirit and give birth to God’s Son. Now I don’t believe that’s something you would eagerly text all your friends about and immediately put as your Facebook status. This was big – really big! Even a little bit “out there,” you might say. But as we know, Mary received the message from the angel with great humility and seriousness.

After Jesus was born, when all the shepherds showed up at the stable, they told Mary and Joseph the amazing story of how an angel had appeared to them announcing the birth of the Savior – the Christ – and were given directions to where the child lay. The shepherds explained they had seen multitudes of angels filling the sky, singing and praising God. It was an unbelievable story! And what did Mary do with all this? She pondered these things in her heart (Luke 2:19).

So here’s what I’ve been thinking: I believe most of us have heard something God told us that seems a bit “out there.” Maybe it’s something we’re supposed to be, something we’re supposed to do, some sort of “dream” or idea we’ve had deep down in our spirits for a long time, perhaps even as a child. It may have been forgotten or put away because it seemed so large, so inconceivable, or so unimaginable; but my word to you today is consider the impossible. Just consider it. Ponder it.

Many of our societies today have lost the art of pondering, taking time to thoroughly consider, pray, and weigh things out. I challenge you to contemplate those things God may have planted deep in your spirit. Were they just childish wishful dreams, or were they legitimate words from the Lord about your calling and true purpose in life? I can’t answer these questions, but God can. So I encourage you to be like Mary and treasure up, keep those things in your heart. God uses us ordinary people so He can do the extraordinary. Consider the impossible. (Luke 1:37)

Filed Under: calling, destiny Tagged With: , , ,

Keeping Your Form

October 29, 2010 By Leave a Comment

By Cyndi

While running the other morning I was acutely aware that my form was falling apart. That form where I have my shoulders back, my pelvis straight, my eyes looking ahead and my body in fluid motion just wasn’t happening–and I suffered because of it. The run was hard, my body was hurting, and my mind was completely distracted in twenty different directions.

This reminded me of times when my Christian form falls apart. I get busy, my devotions stop, my praying stops, my mind dwells on all the negatives around me…I stop doing what I know I should do. Peter, as an apostolic “coach,” says he doesn’t have a problem reminding us we need to review the fundamentals we were originally taught (2 Pet.1:12).

Most athletes know that errors or injuries occur when they depart from the fundamentals. They know the extreme necessity for keeping your form correct. Whether it is your backhand swing, your batting stance, or your foot positions in ballet, all of these details have a tremendous amount of influence on the outcome.

And what about those basic basic Christian fundamentals—like loving God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind (Luke 10:27)?  Or Micah 6:8, “to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God”?  Before even getting to the primary disciplines of Christianity, we must first receive His love and acceptance, and build on that. We love Him because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

All I know is that when I’m running and my form is falling apart, I need to focus back on my breathing, my posture, where my eyes are focused—the fundamentals. It’s back to basics.

Filed Under: Christianity, Encouragement, Love, Running Tagged With: , , , ,

Healthy Grief for Maturity and Compassion

October 17, 2010 By Leave a Comment

“Dad was never there emotionally, he always seemed preoccupied. We didn’t do fun things together. He was so often intense, demanding, even critical. I wish we could have just hung out.”

When I begin working with a person in Prayer Ministry there are normally things that bother the person, ways they are triggered by others, ways life pushes their buttons. After awhile, when we get all those resolved, we come to an interesting place. The person is much more differentiated, and no longer easily triggered by the actions of other’s. However, passion for life is not necessarily restored.

Usually the last thing that comes up is grief and loss. Forgiveness has happened, lies have been displaced, yet, there is a loss. God made little boys and girls to need their fathers as available, engaged, safe, and fun. Releasing this loss is where deep connection is restored. The person is finally ready to move on to actively receive fathering from God and to live in community with others.

“Many have taken on our culture’s pain-denying view of grieving. Perhaps the most popular way in our culture of not paying attention to our losses and pain is by medicating ourselves through an addiction. People use work, TV, drugs, alcohol, shopping or food binges, busyness, sexual escapades, unhealthy relational attachments, even serving others at church incessantly – anything to medicate the pain of life.”

But grieving is part of our humanity, even as Jesus displayed it with the death of Lazarus. There are even many benefits from grieving. Here are a list of some from The Emotionally Healthy Church (p.168). Take some time to ponder these.

Benefits of Grieving:

  • We become compassionate as our Father in heaven is compassionate. Henri Nouwen rightly says grief is the way to compassion. There is no compassion without many tears… To become like the Father whose only authority is compassion, I have to shed countless tears and so prepare my heart to receive anyone, whatever their journey has been, and forgive them from the heart. Absorbing our own pain, we learn to forgive.
  • We have a greater concern for the poor, the widow, the orphan, the marginalized, and the wounded. We understand them.
  • We are less covetous, less idolatrous. We rarely say, “I’ve got to have this or I’ll die.” Life is stripped of its pretense and nonessentials. We are more apt to rid ourselves of the unimportant things in life others so desperately want – power, control, money, or approval.
  • We are liberated from having to impress others. We can follow God’s plan with a new freedom because we are not as motivated to please people.
  • We are able to live more comfortably with mystery when it comes to God and His plans. We are not afraid to say, “I don’t know,” when people ask us questions about God. We become much more flexible regarding God’s intentions for our lives.
  • We are characterized by a greater humility and vulnerability.
  • We place God at the center of our lives and begin rejecting superficial, trivial pursuits.
  • We experience an enhanced sense of living in the immediate present rather than postponing life until retirement. We easily now rearrange life’s priorities to be with our spouse (if  applicable) and friends.
  • We enjoy a new vivid appreciation of the basic facts of life – the changing seasons, the wind, the falling of the leaves, the last Christmas, people made in God’s image.
  • We have fewer fears and a greater willingness to take risks.
  • We are kinder. A love flows out of us that is not based on people’s intelligence, success, money, appearance, or expressions of love for us. People no longer feel evaluated, judged, or analyzed by us. They do not feel controlled.
  • We understand that what bonds us as followers of Jesus living in community is our brokenness.
  • We sense the reality of heaven in a new way, understanding more fully that we are only aliens and sojourners on earth.
  • We are finally at home with ourselves and with God.

Scazzero P. (2003). The Emotionally Healthy Church. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.

Filed Under: Counseling Tagged With: , , , ,

In Training

September 10, 2010 By 1 Comment

By Cyndi

Well, it’s training time again. Yes, for all you runners out there, I’ve begun training for my second marathon, which will be in February. I had such a thrill doing it last time, I’m going to go for it again. (It’s the National Marathon to Finish Breast Cancer, so it’s a good cause.) I still consider myself a novice at this, so it takes many weeks for me to prepare my body for running 26.2 miles. And not just physically, but mentally also. There’s so many things to overcome in training—right now, the heat and humidity of Florida is a major one, but stretching, cross-training, nutrition, hydration–all these things are a part of preparing to run a marathon.

If you think of the Christian walk as being like a marathon, there is strength-training involved in that too. Oh, we had our conversion and have begun our conditioning, but there are times when it gets a little hard and fatigue starts setting in. Just as in the natural realm we have to train our physical body to run for miles, I believe in the spiritual realm we have to strengthen our spirits also to endure the “miles” we will cover in our lifetime. We need spiritual cross-training, we need “good food” to feed our spirit with, Living Water to drink from, and “hills” to challenge us and make us stronger.

Our spirits need building up. In Eph. 3:16, Paul prays that we would be “strengthened with might by His Spirit in our inner man,” our spirit. Vs.17— that we would be “rooted and grounded in love,” able to fulfill our destinies and walk out our Christian walk successfully, receiving love and giving it away to everyone around us. Our spirits are in training. And just like training for a marathon, this is a process, it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and effort–a willingness to suffer the heat, the exhaustion, the work required; but when you do run the race, there is such joy and excitement and confidence that you are ready and prepared.

I ran across this quote, (no pun intended), from an unknown author in Runner’s World:
Spirit has fifty times the strength and staying power of brawn and muscle.

This is in reference to the natural realm—now think of this in the spiritual realm.

Let’s run!

Filed Under: Christianity, Encouragement, Father's Love, Running Tagged With: , , , , ,

Sweating for the Lord

August 14, 2010 By 2 Comments

By Cyndi

As I was running in the 90-something degree F heat the other day (32 C), sweat was pouring off of me. Here in Florida, the summertime heat plus the humidity can be well into the 100s (37 C), but health experts say sweating is supposed to be good for you, cleaning out your pores and all. That’s why saunas and steam rooms are said to be conducive to well-being and are usually in spas and gyms–they cleanse the junk out of your body.

While thinking this heat I’m running in is actually helping to purify my body, immediately the Lord took this natural condition into the spiritual context. I started pondering about how I find myself in “heated” circumstances–where “heat” is put on me from my job, my family, my bills, or even just life itself. I can see these situations are meant to purify me, to cleanse the junk out of my spiritual system. Father God’s not putting things on me because He’s mad at me. No. He’s just using the normal consequences of life to help purify me.

How many times have I sung the words Brian Doerksen penned many years ago:  “Purify my heart, let me be as gold, and precious silver…?” Was I thinking that I could be purified without a little “fire”?

Malachi 3 speaks of this refining fire. It’s the Lord’s desire that we become pure and holy–sanctified for the Master’s use. When precious metals are refined, they are heated up to the melting point which causes the impurities to come to the surface. These impurities are scooped off the top and then the heat is turned up hotter, causing even more impurities to rise and be removed. It is through this refining process the metal is made purer.

Hence my title, Sweating for the Lord. I want all the impurities to come out of my life. I want to walk by the Spirit and not by my fleshly desires. I truly desire for my life to be pure and holy, ready to do His will. So just as I sweat in my physical body, Lord, help me to “sweat” on the inside, that my heart and motives may be cleansed. May I accept heated situations and circumstances as divine provisions and opportunities from You to purify me.

Filed Under: Christianity, destiny, Encouragement, Holiness Tagged With: , ,

Look At What You Have

August 8, 2010 By Leave a Comment

By Cyndi

There is a great story in the Old Testament about Elisha where he took care of a poor widow woman. Creditors were about to enslave her sons because she didn’t have any money to pay them with and she didn’t know what to do. Of course she didn’t want to lose her sons, but the only other thing of value she had was a pot of oil, and that wasn’t much.

Elisha told her to go and get as many vessels as she could from anyone and everyone.  Go through all the cabinets, borrow from the neighbors, find anything that could hold something–a miracle was about to happen. So the widow woman did. Elisha told her to pour the oil that she had into all the vessels, and as she did, the oil continued to flow from one vessel to another until there were no more vessels to fill. The oil stopped flowing then and she was able to sell it and pay off all her debts.

This is a great story and there’s a great lesson to learn from this. The first thing Elisha had asked the woman was, “What do you have?” All she had was a pot of oil. Then she was asked to find other resources, other vessels that could be used. Now look at this–she had a money problem, right? But when I’m looking to God to solve my money problems, I’m not necessarily looking for resources to do it myself. Most of the time I want liquid assets–cash or checks–and God wants me to look for raw materials.

As I look for the available resources–what I have, what I can borrow–God is able to do a miracle for me. I know He’s able to put dollar bills on trees, but normally He wants me to do my part, and He will do His. So when you have a need, any need, look around and see what you have. Find some raw materials He can work with and trust in His love to provide.

Filed Under: responsibility Tagged With: , ,

Milk and Cookies

July 30, 2010 By 1 Comment

By Cyndi

As my friend and I were having lunch the other day, our conversation began to turn towards all the negativity in the world today and how it would be nice to see more positive things going on.                                                                                                      

This reminded me of something Jack Frost said one time in a meeting. He talked about how most of us older folks (over 40) can remember someone in our childhood years who gave out “milk and cookies.” By milk and cookies, he meant those positive affirmations. Maybe our parents were always fighting or never home, but there was the neighbor’s mom who always let us come over and play making us feel welcomed; there was a grandfather who encouraged us when we struck out over and over again playing baseball; there was the aunt who took the time to teach us to bake, showing patience as we cracked eggs onto the floor and made mistakes as we learned. There was someone, somewhere who loved us and showed us kindness and affection even when we felt like we had failed.

Unfortunately, that is not necessarily the case today. Many young people have no one who expresses love to them in a healthy, Godly way, so all they know is rejection and abandonment. So what is my response? How can I give out some “milk and cookies” today?

I could let my son bring all his friends over after a soccer game and have a cookout. I could have patience and try to help the teenage driver trying to parallel park next to me. I could even volunteer to work with the scouts, a youth group, or a local Boys and Girls Club. Maybe it would just be a smile, a touch on the shoulder, a wink, or a thumbs up to someone–but something to express to them how much Father thinks the world of them and loves them unconditionally.

We are His hands on this earth and we can choose to look for the positives or look for the negatives. Anyone up for milk and cookies?

Filed Under: Encouragement, Father's Love, Jack Frost, Love, purpose Tagged With: , , , ,

No Points For Trying

June 5, 2010 By 6 Comments

By Cyndi

Do you ever feel like you have to live up to expectations that seem higher than you can fulfill? Do you live with pressure from others to perform to perfection, and if you don’t, you’re not accepted? Many of us live in daily stress, hoping to gain acceptance from what we do or don’t do.

Acceptance can come in many forms. It can be a promotion or an increase in pay at our job, a pat on the back from our coach, the words “Nice work!” written on the top of a page from a teacher, or a loving glance from our spouse.Whatever it might be, and from whomever it may come, each of us have a God-given need for acceptance. Unfortunately, the world teaches us we have to do something to get it. And not just do something, but do it right. That’s it—it’s either black or white, right or wrong—no points for trying.

My father used to have a saying: “Don’t tell me you can’t, tell me you’ll try.” I think he realized there were many things in life that seem like insurmountable obstacles, and just because you can’t get it right the first time, doesn’t mean you don’t get points for trying. History records multiple accounts of those who didn’t succeed the first time—Abraham Lincoln, Babe Ruth, Thomas Edison. Sometimes we will strike out many times before we will set any world records, but that doesn’t mean we should give up. We can learn from our failed attempts.

God accepts us whether we get things right or not. Oh, I believe He wants us to try—-(see James 1:3 & 1 Peter 1:7) -–and the “points” we get for trying are scored by our growth and maturity in the Lord. We have some high standards put before us, like the Ten Commandments, that seem higher than we can fulfill, but these have nothing to do with how much Father God loves and accepts us.

Our acceptance is not based on our performance, but on His love. 1 John 4:19 says, “He first loved us.” We are His children and He loves us simply because of who we are, not for what we do. But this doesn’t mean we should stop trying, but only try from the safety of knowing you are already loved and accepted just the way you are.

Filed Under: Christianity, destiny Tagged With: ,

How to Fulfill Your Calling

May 28, 2010 By 3 Comments

By Robert

Know your design

It takes time and effort to know ourselves, to discover what makes us tick. You could start by asking yourself, “What comes natural to me?” I know a lady who found it came easy to study and that others naturally felt safe around her. She dove in and researched every conceivable aspect of Prayer Ministry. People started coming and receiving help. She saw people with very deep trauma healed time after time, and she quickly became a leader in the field. The redemptive gifts are the best tool I know of to help discover your design. Is it natural for you to make friends and influence people? Is it more natural to lead people and organize things to reach a goal? Do you get fulfillment working behind the scenes to make things happen?

Gain a skill set

Knowing our design helps us zero in on developing a skill set. In the example above, the lady focused on studying Prayer Ministry. I know of another lady that focused on mobilizing seniors to be a support to ministries around the city. Maybe your focus might be relational evangelism and you could become excellent at it and can effectively impart it to others. Maybe your area is finances and you could offer your services to small business owners and non-profit leaders in the Body of Christ. An accountant or doctor might realize they are particularly good at something, and could work hard to develop that niche.

Serving well brings Favor and Support

Once we have a skill set, we can become life-giving with it by serving others. As we serve well, people will begin talking about it. We will get word-of-mouth, free advertising! As that grows, others will come along and get under us and support our efforts because they see it really helps people.

Get Started!

It is often a mystery to people as to how they can fulfill the unique thing God has called them to do. In reality, there are practical steps. God wants us all to walk in what He has designed us all to be. Nothing is more fulfilling than walking in what you were made to do.

We offer coaching to help in this area. If you would like more information, please contact us.

Filed Under: calling, Christianity, Counseling, purpose Tagged With: , , , ,
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