Paths to Dwell In

By Cyndi

The other night I was helping my son study for a vocabulary test, and I have to admit, there were some words on the list that I didn’t know. But one which I did know was idiosyncrasy. What a great word. Isn’t it fun just to say it? It has a unique feel about it. I feel different just for saying it. The definition of it, according to dictionary.com, is “a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual.” Hmm…I know a verse that mentions the word “peculiar,” 1 Peter 2:9—“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people…”

It is so interesting to see how diversified we all are. Each one of us has certain quirks and tell-tale signs that identify us. We have different likes and dislikes. We have our own marked style of how we talk, how we walk, how we dress, and how we eat. For example, take eating Oreo cookies. You will find multiple modes of what some say are the “right” way to do this. I know within my family there are at least three “best” procedures to eat them, and they all must include milk. However, the fact is, there is no right or wrong method, just your own.

One of my idiosyncrasies is how I put my shoes and socks on always left foot first. The order has to be left sock, left shoe, right sock, right shoe. I do not know why I do this, but I do. Just like I have always put my left earring on first before my right, and wear my watch on my right wrist instead of my left. I have some peculiar habits that make me who I am and not someone else.

God delights in our individuality. He created us in His image (Gen. 1:26), yet has given each one of us our own characteristics, distinguishing us one from another. We all develop unique habits and mannerisms that pertain solely to us, making us peculiar people. We are supposed to be diverse. Revel and enjoy your idiosyncrasies. You are special.

The other day Robert and I were going to go grab a bite to eat for lunch. He suggested a sandwich shop or a pizza place, but I was in the mood for Chinese food. After a brief discussion, we ended up getting Chinese take-out. I knew what I had wanted so I stated it clearly, but not demandingly. As we drove away, the Lord reminded me of some changes that have taken place in my life over the last few years.

There was a point in time where I could hardly make a decision on my own. If you would have asked me what I wanted to do, without thinking I would have replied, “I don’t care, whatever you want.” If you would have asked me where I wanted to go out for dinner, I would have replied, “I don’t care, wherever you want.” If you would have asked me what movie I wanted to see, I would again have replied, “I don’t care, whatever one you would like.” It wasn’t that I really didn’t care, though I thought so at the time, it was that I didn’t know what I truly felt. I didn’t take the time to think and ask myself those questions—I thought my point of view had no value.

My emotions had been pushed so far down in order to please others and “follow the rules,” that I had stopped considering what my own feelings were or what opinions I might have.  This happened because I allowed my emotional boundaries to be crossed—I had allowed others to tell me what I should think and feel.

Boundaries are where one thing stops and another thing begins.  Think about borders of countries or even a fence, for example—one area is separated from another.  In people, there can be physical, mental and emotional boundaries that define who we are, and who we are not. Whenever these lines are crossed without permission, it takes away from my personhood, blurring the point of what makes me, me and you, you.

If I agree with everybody and everything, changing my beliefs, opinions, and morals to morph with whomever I am with, then I am not defined. I become like a child, as Paul states in Ephesians 4:14, who is “tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine.”

Others can influence me to the point where I really don’t know what I believe, nor why. My own personhood doesn’t get developed. I stop making decisions based on what I think or want because I’m more concerned with what others think or want. Eventually, for me, this led to believing that they really do know what’s best and that my views or impressions didn’t have any value or worth.  I didn’t set an emotional boundary that said, “You have a right to your likes and dislikes, and I have a right to mine.”

At times I still struggle to set boundaries with others, but knowing Father God sees me as a unique individual with value, and Who made me different from others for a reason, has given me great strength and courage to define myself.  My decision making has gotten better too. Now, if I say, “I don’t care, whatever you want,” then it’s because I already thought about it, and I truly don’t have a preference. Although Chinese food is one of my favorites.

Identity in Love

When we lack identity in God’s love we will have fears to deal with since it is love that casts them out. 1 Jn.4:17 Fear leads to control; a lack of vulnerability, having walls up.

“In a shame bound family system there tends to be rigidly defined boundaries. This causes the development of self to get cut off early. Children learn to value defiant individualism over the ongoing dialog of relationship.” (Facing Shame) Most teenage rebellion can be found right here!

 Judgment by Love

For me judgment cannot be understood without starting with the concept that God is love. He is love; He does not act outside of what is loving. He is not insecure with a bruised ego pouring out wrath on the earth. He desires that all would be saved, everyone. We know that obviously all will not be saved, but understanding the posture of God’s heart is key. He is in no way threatened by man’s sin or rebellion; we do not have that power over Him.

Is God Angry?

In response to the Father’s love, many ask about God’s anger. I believe He gets angry. I believe He gets angry at the way sin hurts people but not for the above stated reasons.  

Boundaries

From that basis, consider a very loving parent with a rebellious son, or a loving husband with a wandering spouse. God Himself uses language like this in the scripture. Healthy discipline uses boundaries rather than punishment—not rescuing the person, but allowing the wayward one to reap the consequences of their actions. There is a way to discipline without devaluing the person.

The Coming Perfect Storm, John Paul Jackson

John Paul Jackson in “The Coming Perfect Storm” says it well: “Crisis is the fruit of following the wrong god. God allows (allows is clearly different from pours out) calamities to happen in order to draw us to Himself. God allows us to reap the fruit of that which we serve. Walking in God’s ways brings blessings and fruitfulness of life, while walking in the ways of the god of this world will bring the fruit of the god of this world: decay, destruction, deterioration, and death. Throughout scripture, when crisis hit the people of God, they turned their hearts to Him and He heard and took action on their behalf. (Jer.29:12, 13). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3MnvN0IE0s

God is not out to punish us, we merely reap what we’ve sown. He disciplines us like sons (Heb.12:7,8), demonstrating His great love and value for us the whole time.

A Quick Church History

In the early 1500s, Martin Luther restored to the church understanding about Jesus Christ. This spawned years of revival based around concepts of salvation, redemption, and righteousness. In the 1800s there began Holiness and Pentecostal movements, that led to the healing revivals and the Charismatic movement and others that restored to the church understanding about the Holy Spirit.

In the early 1970s James Dobson began teaching that the family is important and how we parent makes a difference. He suffered persecution for this in the early days. In the latter 1970s John and Paula Sanford started teaching that, it not only matters how we parent but also how we were parented. They received much persecution for these concepts and yet today it is widely held that how we were fathered and mothered has a big impact on us and if there is resultant wounding it needs to be healed.

The Feasts

The Passover feast brings focus to Jesus. Pentecost points to the Holy Spirit. I believe the Feast of Tabernacles will emphasize the Father. Malachi 4:5-6: “See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.”

Fathering

We have a fatherless generation on the earth today. Fathers give us our identity, security, and destiny. I believe in the final move of God there will be a huge emphasis here. Teaching will abound and older believers will know how to father newer believers into both wholeness and walking out their callings effectively. Broken, spectator Christianity will come to an end!

1 Corinthians 4:15 For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers…

A Slave Mentality

Many people and ministries are struggling at this time in receiving their needed resources. I believe that for the childlike, the teachable, those who have not grown cynical and critical but can still be in awe of what God can do—fresh, out of the box ideas are coming like never before!

Where to Find Resources

We teach a series called “Living a Fathered Life, Going from Slavery to Sonship.”

Israel in the wilderness had a slavery mentality (no faith to try anything new, always gravitating to the negative, no awe of Father) and so could not enter the promised land. There is no inheritance for slaves.

In Luke15 the older brother complained, “You have never given me anything,” and the father said “Son, you own it all.”  The son was complaining because his father did not give him liquid assets, instant solutions. The father was trying to show him that he had given him so much more than that, something so much higher. So often in our prayers we are asking God for finished products, liquid assets – “God give us the money for this venture”; “God make my business or ministry successful, in Jesus name.”

How Sons Receive

However, God often deals with sons by giving them raw materials. The older brother could go out to the field and choose any goat he wanted, catch it when he wanted, butcher it, cook it, call his friends and have a party—anytime. There was no shortage of resources there, only a shortage of perspective.

Perspective

He could not see liquid assets and so thought he did not have any assets. The father said, “Son, you are a builder, you can put things together, you have been running my whole operation for years. You know how to put together a business plan and implement it. Help yourself, go take the raw materials and do what you want.”

Press In

Why not daily ask God to anoint your eyes, to show you raw materials instead of liquid assets. When I worked with the subsistence farmers of the Dominican Republic, I would continually be amazed at their resourcefulness. One time Tulio and I went up the mountain for some poles to build a back porch. He knew where to look to find just the right trees for the job. He found some vines nearby that he cut for rope. He looked around for what was needed. Here in the US we are addicted to the finished product. We have lost the understanding of how to be a builder like our farmer forefathers had.

Challenge – spend 30 days asking God to show you the raw materials that are already there and to coach you how to pray like a son instead of a slave. Instead of praying, “Give me the finished product,” pray, “God show me how to put together these raw materials in a way I have never seen before.”

(This material comes from Arthur Burk’s new teaching, “Social Entrepreneurs”)

By Cyndi

When I was a little girl, I used to love to go out back into my father’s workshop. It was a separate building behind our house where he had a big table saw, a long place to work on and tools hanging on nails all along the walls. Sheets of plywood of all different sizes from various projects were leaning on one side of the room, and a cabinet with multiple boxes of nails, screws, washers and other things was mounted on the far corner.  Underneath the table my dad kept a bucket of scrap wood just for me.  I could use anything in it to pound nails into or create and build whatever I wanted. Sawdust was everywhere so I got a bit dusty at times, but I liked the smell of it.

I loved hanging out with my father “out back,” as we would say, because he was always working on something and I just liked being around him. It was fun. We built all kinds of things, everything from shelves for the hall closet to a deck around our above-ground pool. My job was usually the holder, you know, the one who holds the end of the board while it’s being sawed so it doesn’t break off and fall.  But for me it wasn’t so much about working on a project necessarily, it was about spending time together.

He would explain how all the different tools were used for different reasons, how sometimes it’s better to use screws instead of nails, how particle board is different from masonite, how sometimes you use fine sandpaper instead of rough, all that kind of stuff. One of my favorite things was using his chisel set to chisel out my name or some design in a piece of wood. He would show me how to gently tap it to make smaller dents or to use a thick one and hit it hard if I was taking a whole section out. It was a time of impartation, of communion. It was a time of sharing.

I often picture myself with Father God “out back” in a workshop. It’s not so much about what we’re working on—I have plenty of things in my life to work on, for sure—but it’s about having communion with Him. Sometimes I just read one or two scriptures and let Him explain it to me, like my dad did with the tools. Sometimes I pull thoughts or dreams from my “scrap bucket” and want to just create—thinking, talking, singing, joking—no real agenda. But that’s it—no real agenda. Simply fellowship. Much is imparted to me simply by being in His presence. We’re spending time together, and there are even moments when I think I smell sawdust.

Father does all in Love

1 John 4:8 …God is love. Love is who God is, His very essence. Therefore, God basis everything He does is in love. God never thinks a negative or critical thought about you. He thinks good thoughts toward you, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jer.29:11)

Father is Not Insecure!

Think of your Father in heaven all loving, all knowing, all powerful. What could ever cause Him to feel threatened or insecure? Being critical and negative are defense mechanisms people use when they have been hurt and do not want to be hurt again. God is not sitting in heaven thinking that you just do not ever get it right or will not ever be obedient, so He is fed up with you and ready to abandon you.

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

Father’s Plans toward You are Loving

Father is in heaven thinking how much He loves you, and in His omnipotence and omniscience is planning to bring you into the very best He has for you, what will fit you perfectly for the way He created you. His plan for you really is above all you could ask or even imagine. (Eph.3:20)

When God thinks of you as His child, it sends a thrill through His heart and He rejoices over you with joy and singing! (Zephaniah 3:17)

Is this the God you know?

Father’s Love is Freeing

“If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. (Author unknown)

No one has ever walked this out in a greater way than God. Jesus gives us a great example of Father’s love setting us free in the story of the prodigal (Luke 15). Deut.21:20, 21 says that this rebellious son should have been stoned, and yet Jesus shares how the father in this story actually accommodates his request for his inheritance.

Some people may have heard of the Invisible Fence for dogs. It is an electrical wire buried just under the grass on the perimeters of your yard. The dog then has a sensor on his collar that gives him a shock if he crosses the wire. Now when we get saved, we are committing our lives to the Lordship of Christ. At that prayer, He could have put some kind of shock system on the inside of us so that whenever we would go to spread a little gossip, tell a lie, or even cheat on our diet, we would get a shock. The Body of Christ, I believe, would very quickly become obedient! But it would only be an outward conformity. God is after our hearts. He wants us to choose to obey Him out of love, not duty. He has gone to incredible lengths to have a people who would do this in a radical way!