Coloring Outside the Lines

April 18, 2010 By 1 Comment

By Cyndi

Crossing boundaries is like coloring outside the lines in a coloring book. The lines are what make the picture—they define it, express it, they reveal what it is supposed to look like. They help us learn to improve our coloring skills by giving us a framework to function within. Children scribble-scrabble with their crayons. Coloring books help them learn small motor skills, to control hand movements and train them to do what they desire. As youngsters mature, instead of haphazard strokes on a page, mindful and purposeful marks and colors are chosen to create a picture in the way they wish to express it.

Boundaries have a purpose in our lives; they define our picture, who we are. My boundaries, like the coloring book page, are a picture of what I will or will not do.  When someone tries to get me to do something I don’t want to, and they begin to push me, they have crossed my boundary. As I see it, they colored outside the line—my line. This might take the form of a spouse using the silent treatment, or someone using anger to manipulate or control me into doing something I have already said no to. If I am talking with someone and indicate I need to go, and they continue to draw me into conversation, they are coloring across my line.

Many times those who do not respect boundaries and scribble-scrabble over others are struggling with insecurity and fears of being rejected. They are still learning the “small motor skills” of self-control. Part of growing in our spiritual walk is understanding how to honor one another’s rights, choices, and feelings rather than randomly coloring all over the page. We also need the maturity to set loving boundaries with others in a way that still values them. By doing this, it helps us all mature and learn to color within the lines, freely expressing ourselves, yet respecting everyone else’s picture.

Filed Under: Boundaries, Christianity, Counseling Tagged With: , , ,

I Love Maps

March 13, 2010 By 4 Comments

By Cyndi

I love maps. I really do—especially world maps. What I like about them is being able to see the big picture, the entire world at one time, and how things relate to one another. On a map, I can look and see how far away Cuba is fromFlorida. I can look at Colorado and see how far away the Rocky Mountains are from the Smokey Mountains. Robert was just in India last week, and I can determine from a map that he was totally on the opposite side of the world from me. Maps help me put things in perspective as to where I am.

There are times when I wish I could see the map of my whole life, from beginning to end, pinned up on a wall, but I can’t. However, I do know Someone who can—Father God. He knows all about me, when I was born and when I will die; everything that has happened in the past, and all that will happen in the future.  As the song goes, “He’s got the whole world in His hands,” and since I’m on that world, I’m in His hands.

God knows every little thing about me. For some people, this causes fear, as if He’s a “big brother” surveillance camera, waiting to catch them doing something wrong. For me it brings peace. It causes me to be at rest knowing that this world is not just some freak happenstance, and my life isn’t some chaotic randomness of time and events. No, I believe God has a map of my existence, where He can guide and direct me daily. He knows where I am in relation to everything around me, and He has a plan. Jeremiah 29:11—“I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster; plans to give you a future filled with hope.” Now that’s a good perspective. I really love maps.

Filed Under: Father's Love, Rest, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,

Idiosyncrasies

March 7, 2010 By 7 Comments

By Cyndi

The other night I was helping my son study for a vocabulary test, and I have to admit, there were some words on the list that I didn’t know. But one which I did know was idiosyncrasy. What a great word. Isn’t it fun just to say it? It has a unique feel about it. I feel different just for saying it. The definition of it, according to dictionary.com, is “a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual.” Hmm…I know a verse that mentions the word “peculiar,” 1 Peter 2:9—“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people…”

It is so interesting to see how diversified we all are. Each one of us has certain quirks and tell-tale signs that identify us. We have different likes and dislikes. We have our own marked style of how we talk, how we walk, how we dress, and how we eat. For example, take eating Oreo cookies. You will find multiple modes of what some say are the “right” way to do this. I know within my family there are at least three “best” procedures to eat them, and they all must include milk. However, the fact is, there is no right or wrong method, just your own.

One of my idiosyncrasies is how I put my shoes and socks on always left foot first. The order has to be left sock, left shoe, right sock, right shoe. I do not know why I do this, but I do. Just like I have always put my left earring on first before my right, and wear my watch on my right wrist instead of my left. I have some peculiar habits that make me who I am and not someone else.

God delights in our individuality. He created us in His image (Gen. 1:26), yet has given each one of us our own characteristics, distinguishing us one from another. We all develop unique habits and mannerisms that pertain solely to us, making us peculiar people. We are supposed to be diverse. Revel and enjoy your idiosyncrasies. You are special.

Filed Under: Father's Love, Rest Tagged With: , , ,

Hard or Soft?

February 12, 2010 By 11 Comments

By Cyndi

How do we Christians come across to the world around us? What do our friends, family, and co-workers think about our Christianity? Do we display the attributes of Christ in our daily lives? I was challenged by these questions just the other day and wondered how I appear to the people I meet every day.

Last week I was having a conversation with a friend and afterwards I realized that I dominated the conversation. It was all about me. What pride! Oh, I asked about how she was doing but I wasn’t really listening. I was waiting to share some more things about me the minute she stopped talking. And then when I got caught in traffic driving to another part of town, I was extremely impatient and furious with all the incompetent drivers I was around. “If they could all just drive like me it would be so much better,” I thought. Yes, dear reader, sometimes my Christianity is quite hard and harsh. It’s not always a pretty sight.

So I picked up Andrew Murray’s Humility book and decided it was time to re-read it again. (I think this is one of those books you need to read at least once a year—at least I need to.) I found this particular line quite interesting:

In striving after the higher experiences of the Christian life, the believer is often in danger of aiming at and rejoicing in what one might call the human, the manly, virtues, such as boldness, joy, contempt of the world, zeal, self-sacrifice, while the deeper and gentler, the diviner and more heavenly graces, poverty of spirit, meekness, humility, lowliness, are scarcely thought of or valued (pg. 56).

So I can take the “onward Christian soldiers” approach, plowing through everything and everyone who gets in my way of living for God, or I can attempt to live by the “more heavenly graces,” as Murray says. If I were humble, I would carefully listen to my friend share about how she was doing—her challenges, her delights—so that I could pray for her or rejoice with her as Rom. 12:15 instructs me to do. If I were meek and lowly, I would not stress out in traffic, or get angry and judge the inapt drivers, but be patient and kind instead—-preferring others (Rom. 12:10).

I have repented for my rude behavior of the past and am trying to focus on the sensitive side of Christianity. Yes, I still think there is a place for the harder, stronger virtues of fasting, fearless preaching, and warring in the Spirit, but maybe our world needs to see more of the softer, gentler, loving and forgiving attributes of us Christians.

Filed Under: Christianity, Father's Love, humility Tagged With: , , ,

My Father’s Workshop

October 3, 2009 By 6 Comments

By Cyndi

When I was a little girl, I used to love to go out back into my father’s workshop. It was a separate building behind our house where he had a big table saw, a long place to work on and tools hanging on nails all along the walls. Sheets of plywood of all different sizes from various projects were leaning on one side of the room, and a cabinet with multiple boxes of nails, screws, washers and other things was mounted on the far corner.  Underneath the table my dad kept a bucket of scrap wood just for me.  I could use anything in it to pound nails into or create and build whatever I wanted. Sawdust was everywhere so I got a bit dusty at times, but I liked the smell of it.

I loved hanging out with my father “out back,” as we would say, because he was always working on something and I just liked being around him. It was fun. We built all kinds of things, everything from shelves for the hall closet to a deck around our above-ground pool. My job was usually the holder, you know, the one who holds the end of the board while it’s being sawed so it doesn’t break off and fall.  But for me it wasn’t so much about working on a project necessarily, it was about spending time together.

He would explain how all the different tools were used for different reasons, how sometimes it’s better to use screws instead of nails, how particle board is different from masonite, how sometimes you use fine sandpaper instead of rough, all that kind of stuff. One of my favorite things was using his chisel set to chisel out my name or some design in a piece of wood. He would show me how to gently tap it to make smaller dents or to use a thick one and hit it hard if I was taking a whole section out. It was a time of impartation, of communion. It was a time of sharing.

I often picture myself with Father God “out back” in a workshop. It’s not so much about what we’re working on—I have plenty of things in my life to work on, for sure—but it’s about having communion with Him. Sometimes I just read one or two scriptures and let Him explain it to me, like my dad did with the tools. Sometimes I pull thoughts or dreams from my “scrap bucket” and want to just create—thinking, talking, singing, joking—no real agenda. But that’s it—no real agenda. Simply fellowship. Much is imparted to me simply by being in His presence. We’re spending time together, and there are even moments when I think I smell sawdust.

Filed Under: Christianity, Father's Love Tagged With: , , ,

Who Am I?

June 28, 2008 By 4 Comments

By Cyndi

One of the phrases I used to use constantly was: “It doesn’t matter to me”. You could ask me if I wanted to go shopping or to the beach or whatever and that’s what I’d say. You could ask me where I wanted to go out to lunch or dinner or whether I wanted to take a break and that’s what I’d say-”Oh I don’t care, it doesn’t matter”.  What’s wrong with that? I came across to others as a real humble, selfless, caring for others type of person, but was I really? Maybe a little, but not totally. I didn’t realize I had given up my own identity a long time ago, and I really didn’t know what I wanted or felt. It wasn’t that it didn’t matter, but that I wouldn’t take the time to ask myself whether it did or not.

We all have a freedom of choice in most things. But I gave up my freedom to others, because what they thought of me, or what I thought they thought about me was more important than what I thought of me (got it?) As a child growing up, my parents of course expected me to behave, like most parents do. They were not harshly demanding or controlling but with my personality, I was what many would call the “compliant” child or the “peacemaker” in the family. I relinquished my rights to make decisions and found a much easier life in just letting others make decisions for me. Plus it made my family happy, my friends happy, even my enemies happy! And who doesn’t like to see others happy?

So as I got older I wasn’t sure who I really was. Who am I? What do I feel? What matters and doesn’t matter to me? Am I still what others want me to be, or can I take on my own identity? I can read what the Word says I am: I am the righteousness of God; I am the head and not the tail; I am God’s beloved child in whom He is well pleased. But what does all this really mean to me? How is the Word affecting my life and my actions? Well, who we are really depends on who we believe we are. For as a man thinks, so is he ( Prov.23:7 ). So what am I believing?

We do not need to understand ourselves before we can believe in ourselves. Belief comes first. “Understanding is the reward of faith”, says Aurelious Augustous.  As I began to believe in myself, what the Word said about me and to believe that Father God really does love me unconditionally, I allowed myself to start saying what I wanted or didn’t want regardless of what others thought. I started to take chances-to put myself “out there” to possibly fail or look bad, because it didn’t matter anymore, I knew I was loved whatever the end result was. I started to lead worship, to teach, to touch, to pray for others. I started to say what I would like for dinner or what I’d like to do-and as I did, I began to understand myself more. God began revealing to me who He really made me to be, what my unique calling and destiny was. He showed me how He made me unlike any one else, who has my own special gifting, personality, opinions and that it’s good being me! I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and it doesn’t matter what others say or think. I am constantly growing in my understanding and belief in what He says I am which empowers me more to live out my life for Him and not others.

Filed Under: Father's Love Tagged With: ,

Seeking God in Father’s Love

July 19, 2006 By Leave a Comment

Seeking God in Father’s Love

  Isaiah 66:1, 2 Thus says the Lord: “Heaven is My throne, And earth is My footstool. Where is the house that you will build Me? And where is the place of My rest? Vs.2 For all those things My hand has made, And all those things exist,” Says the Lord. “But on this one will I look: On him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, And who trembles at My word.”      At one time in my Christian walk I would study the Bible from 8 in the morning until noon each day, I would awake at 5:30am and go to my church to pray each day. It seemed like almost everyday I would try to fast. Most days I ended up buying a box of Captain Crunch cereal and eating the whole thing! I wanted to have Smith Wigglesworth’s anointing. I sought intimacy with God but I sought it wrongly, through trying to build God something, through my works, to build an anointing and enough sacrifice to please Him. I had not learned to simply receive what He freely offers through humility And Brokenness. God desires for us to know Him but because of misconceptions we have about who our Father is we often end up discouraged because our efforts do not bear the fruits we had hoped. We try to build Him something, we try to do something. The very act of trying to do for God ends up keeping us from Him. Ps.131:1-2 Lord, my heart is not haughty, Nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, Nor with things too profound for me. Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, Like a weaned child with his mother; Like a weaned child is my soul within me. It takes humility to let go of our own efforts and simply receive but it brings a glorious freedom.Zach.4:6…Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ Says the LORD of hosts.Ps.127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it… Check out Jack Frost’s article on Rest  http://www.shilohplace.org/Downloads/Articles/Article29-WhenWeStrive.pdf

Filed Under: Father's Love, How to Change, Jack Frost Tagged With: , ,
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