Triangles

By Robert

Understanding how triangles work puts a powerful growth tool in your hands. Anxieties are a part of life. Maybe my job status is insecure; perhaps that ache in my body is a serious health issue. What if the United States economy collapses and there are interruptions in the food supply? Nobody passes through life without facing anxious thoughts at times but what we do with those thoughts is what really matters.

Adam and Eve had an intimate relationship with God. As they dialogued about husbandry and naming the animals, they felt at ease with God and able to be vulnerable and transparent. Then the serpent came along and questioned God’s motives, “Hath God said?”

He did not discuss his own fears about who God was but instead he slandered and crossed mental and emotional boundaries. He sought to be controlling toward Eve’s thinking. Adam and Eve did not stand in the authority God had given them and they allowed their boundaries to be crossed, which led to sin. Now they experienced fear and felt they needed to hide from God. In place of intimacy they now had relational distance.

Adam, Eve, and the serpent formed a triangle. Rather than speaking honestly about how they felt and about their anxieties, they moved into blame. Triangles are a way to focus on other people’s motives rather than our own feelings when we are anxious.

“Triangles are our most common way of avoiding closeness and connection with others. They are the way people stabilize their relationships by externalizing their anxiety onto someone or something else.” (Richardson, p.29) When we can face and acknowledge our fears we have the opportunity to deal with them and move forward. Unfortunately, many stay stuck for years in their Christian lives. If you are ready to move forward we can help. Why not give us a call today?

Richardson, R. (2005). Becoming A Healthy Pastor. Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress